[Magdalen] Thanksgiving morning

[Kristin Rollins]

Thank you all. It all went quite well, and reminded me of similar family gatherings back home. Though the scavenger hunt judging was something I wouldn't have believed without seeing it myself.

A good day, and I wonder if it was in some ways a blessing to be back in this way of being seen for the day. And not feeling the pressure to convince others that I am who I am. Um, maybe I should have rephrased that last bit! 

After the chaos, we're both enjoying some quiet time in our room. Tomorrow, we'll drive back home and wait for the cats top forgive our absence from their service for a little less than 48 hours. 

Kristin

Sent from my iPhone

> On Nov 27, 2014, at 6:00 AM, Kristin Rollins <kristin at verumsolum.com> wrote:
> 
> I write from the darkness of a hotel room. Hotels are one of the rare
> times I am annoyed by my internal clock being so different from my
> wife's. Because there is so little to do that won't risk disturbing her
> sleep. Even worse, this time I forgot my Bluetooth headphones, so
> podcasts and radio listening are out.
> 
> I am also quite nervous. We are having Thanksgiving dinner with members
> of Heather's father's side of the family. I don't believe he and my
> mother-in-law will be present, as they hurriedly prepare a second
> location of their store for its opening day: Black Friday. (Yes,
> really.) So I expect that the only person I will have previously met in
> person today will be Heather. (One or two of them have friended me on
> Facebook, but any interaction we've had there has been pretty
> superficial.)
> 
> And to top it off, Heather's family has not yet been told of my news.
> And Thanksgiving is obviously not the day for that (as I remembered last
> month when I delayed coming out to my father because it was Canadian
> Thanksgiving). So I am "introducing myself" to people I have never met
> before, while hiding who I really am, and answering to an old name and
> perceived gender. I know it is the right decision in the circumstances
> of this situation, but of course it isn't easy, and the pre-dawn
> darkness doesn't help as I sit, the only person awake in the room for
> hours.
> 
> I know there are others who have it worse than I do. But there are so
> many "if onlys" in this situation that I don't dwell on, but are so easy
> to pop up unbidden. If only I had met these people before today. If only
> time hadn't gotten away, and we'd managed to tell my in-laws before it
> was too late for today. But the plan is only to be there for a few
> hours. We have a hotel room about a half-hour, I think, from where the
> family is gathering. Mealtime is expected to be an hour or two after we
> get there. And when we leave, I can relax.
> 
> It's one day. I've done it before. It won't be the end of the world. But
> I'm really not looking forward to dancing around questions with awkward
> answers posed by mostly complete strangers.
> 
> -- 
>  Kristin Rollins
>  kristin at verumsolum.com
>  Portsmouth, VA