[Magdalen] My announcement (was Quick prayer request)

[Scott Rollins]

​I hope you'll forgive me for not writing a separate post, but I hope to
when life calms down a bit.

I sent the message below to the choir on Tuesday, so that they would know
of it before our rehearsal last night. And, as had been arranged, when I
had sent the message to the choir, the rector forwarded it on to the
members of the vestry and the rest of the staff.

The message (and then I'll add a bit more):

----- Begin included message -----

Friends,

A few days ago, I gave Father Derek my resignation. My final Sunday will be
in just over a month.

Part of the reason is burnout. My reaction to the parts of the job that I
have found difficult has grown to consume more and more of my attention and
my energy as time has gone on. Were this the only reason, I would have
attempted to find adjustments that would permit me to continue.

However, over the past few years, I have also been coming to an
understanding of who I am which does not match how I have been presenting
myself to you. And I have reached the point where I can't continue hiding
who I am; that is, where I can't continue hiding that I am a transgender
woman.

A word on terminology: a transgender woman is somebody who despite the
anatomy they were born with identifies as a woman. It isn't about
impersonation or performance, it is about who I am.

I recognize that there are those who will be uncomfortable with this and
others who will object based upon their beliefs. So while I have come to
the point where I need to be more open about who I am, I also believe that
continuing in a staff position during this transition would lead to
controversy and division within the parish, and be a distraction from (and
detriment to) the real mission of St. John's, as well as adding to how
difficult it would be for me to handle my responsibilities as your choir
director.

I want to thank you all for everything you all do for this parish and for
all you have done over the last four and a half years to welcome me and to
help lead music here at St. John's. I ask for your prayers, and you will
continue to be in my prayers.

----- End included message -----

The one thing that I left out was my name. I am using the name Kristin. I
have been using that name in various places online for a while now, but I
wanted to stay as Scott at work until my finish date (which is Nov 16), in
an attempt to not cause too much of an issue while I'm still in a
leadership position.

I have been surprised at how positive the responses have been. I received
replies Tuesday from most of the choir, and I received a couple of other
messages from people in or connected to the vestry. And most of them were
fully supportive. (Though, of course, there were one or two that were sorry
I was leaving but mostly ignoring the reason behind it. I am sure the
conversations between parishioners are far more "interesting" than any
conversation that I will be part of.)

My biggest fear had been the word getting to the parish and now that the
situation is public knowledge, I'm feeling freer to let other people who
knew me as Scott know. Before this week, the people who knew were my wife,
my stepdaughter, my mother, my former therapist, our current one, my
rector, a former parishioner who moved out of state, and members of my
wife's now-former order, and then the online people who have only known me
as Kristin. Now, I'm both excited and scared about coming out to other
people and trying to stagger it enough that I don't drown under the
responses, but quickly enough that people who need to hear quickly do.

So, that's the situation here. Thank you for all your prayers around the
announcement, and I'd appreciate them as I move forward.

Kristin