[Magdalen] medical terminology

[Jay Weigel]

One of my favorite chart comments came from a patient history dictated by a
doc at my last hospital. It had all of us on the night shift in stitches:
"Patient states he drinks two or three glasses of wine a day. He states
they are 8 ounce glasses. Wife says they are 12 ounces. Either way, it's
too much." It sure was. Patient wasn't in DTs, but he sure was a grouchy
somebody for a few days until he got past the withdrawal.

On Thu, Oct 30, 2014 at 3:26 PM, Jon Egger <revegger at gmail.com> wrote:

> In my years of nursing I saw two things that disturbed me.  The first was
> how med students, inters, and residents had horrible spelling and grammar
> issues.  On nights, when we checked the charts, we'd make note of egregious
> errors and have those making them fix them in the chart.
>
> The other thing:  When I started in nursing, I noticed how med students
> started off as nice people, but by the time they were done with their
> internship or residency they had become irritable beasts, often mean or
> flippant.  That was a result of their training.   Long hours reduced them
> into error making, poorly observant people.   BUT, that started changing in
> the mid-90s.  Medical schools began looking at the rigors involved in the
> way the on call schedules were made, and KU developed a specialty in
> Critical Care Medicine.
>
> KU went to a wonderful system:  students and interns rotated call every
> week, and the residents were on call for a month.  The intern and residents
> slept a few doors down from our ICU.  We had lots more time to hang with
> them and talk.  They got to see what we, as nurses, had to deal with...and
> more importantly became aware of how important our role was.  Getting to
> know the residents was amazing...we'd talk about our families, how our
> weekends were, and so on.  They knew they'd be with us all night and
> usually hung around and helped until they wanted to go to bed.  Every other
> Thursday and every other Sunday, my team would order Chinese delivery and
> the docs loved when the A team was on cuz they knew they could order a nice
> meal.
>
> +++
> Grace & peace,
> jon
>
>
> On Thu, Oct 30, 2014 at 11:47 AM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Oh my...definitely LOL stuff!
> >
> > > On Oct 29, 2014, at 11:43 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
> > oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > What happens when medical practitioners are allowed to make up their
> own
> > > descriptions? The following are actual unedited notes written by
> doctors
> > on
> > > patients' medical charts:
> > >
> > > 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
> > > 2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
> > > disappeared completely.
> > > 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
> > was
> > > very hot in bed last night.
> > > 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in
> 1993.
> > > 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
> > > depressed.
> > > 6. Discharge status: Alive, but without permission.
> > > 7. Healthy appearing, decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but
> > > forgetful.
> > > 8. The patient refused an autopsy.
> > > 9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
> > > 10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
> > > 11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
> with
> > > only a forty pound weight gain in the past three days.
> > > 12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
> > > 13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
> > > 14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might
> > like
> > > to work her up.
> > > 15. She is numb from her toes down.
> > > 16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
> > > 17. The skin was moist and dry.
> > > 18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
> > > 19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
> > > 20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
> > > 21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until
> > she
> > > got a divorce.
> > > 22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
> > > therapy.
> > > 23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
> > > 24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
> > > 25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
> > > 26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job
> as
> > a
> > > stockbroker instead.
> > > 27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
> > > 28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
> > > 29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should
> sit
> > > on the abdomen, and I agree.
> > > 30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
> > > 31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
> > >
> > > James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> > > *“If you have a chance to accomplish something that will make things
> > better
> > > for people coming behind you, and you don’t do it, you're wasting your
> > time
> > > on this Earth.”  -- *Roberto Clemente
> >
>