[Magdalen] This saying No is tough

[Marion Thompson]

And being good Christians, don't we always choke back the right response 
and work on our ulcer?  I agree with James, especially as you are 
helping a paid person.  Sheese.

Marion, a pilgrim
On 9/25/2014 7:19 PM, James Oppenheimer wrote:
> Email this thread to the jerk and tell him
> 1. It's from you, and
>
> 2. congratulations, he's now on his own.  And don't look back.
>
> He worked hard for these consequences and by gosh he's entitled to them. Do
> not deny him what he is due!
>
> James W. Oppenheimer
> *“If you have a chance to accomplish something that will make things better
> for people coming behind you, and you don’t do it, you're wasting your time
> on this Earth.”  -- *Roberto Clemente
>
> On Thu, Sep 25, 2014 at 5:28 PM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>> Isn't this a lovely email for a volunteer webmaster to receive from
>> the paid staff member who should really be doing the work?
>>
>> "Under upcoming masses, it seems you often forget to change the date
>> and title of the feast.  Obviously it should be September 28, The
>> Sixteenth …."
>>
>> Wow...that's a rather sh***y tone, in my opinion. This after having
>> been told by my partner last night, after I offered what I thought
>> were constructive suggestions about a problem, "You're not helping, AT
>> ALL."
>>
>> I guess there are days when one just gets beaten up a bit. Good thing
>> I'm not a sensitive type. (Is joke!)
>>
>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 2:15 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> Seconding what Grace said, and suggesting that you put the idea forward.
>>>
>>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 1:33 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Sounds very good, Scott, especially the plan to meet with the new
>> rector.
>>>> I hope that can happen sooner rather than later.
>>>>
>>>>> On Sep 23, 2014, at 1:28 PM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>> I really think this is getting better, and much faster with our new
>>>>> rector. There is caring and compassion, and a community feeling, and
>>>>> breakdowns in all of this, like many parishes. Long gone are the days
>>>>> (if there were such days...there may have been) when it was "all about
>>>>> the liturgy, and don't talk to me about pastoral needs." The
>>>>> dysfunctional attitude I run into with one person in particular is his
>>>>> frequent comment that "it's a new neighborhood" with the new rector
>>>>> and all changes are gratuitous or uninformed (because all priests
>>>>> should know how to do everything according to some standard that's out
>>>>> there that everyone just knows somehow). And I disagree with that
>>>>> assessment, wholeheartedly. I support the changes that Fr. Cobb has
>>>>> made (in liturgical matters and others) because they're well thought
>>>>> out and based on lots of experience.
>>>>>
>>>>> One thing that needs to happen soon is a personal meeting (over lunch
>>>>> or just in his office) with the rector to get to know each other
>>>>> better. Only so much can be discussed in quick encounters in the
>>>>> sacristy.
>>>>>
>>>>>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 11:54 AM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
>>>>>> What Jay said.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Molly
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn
>> in
>>>> no other way. -- Mark Twain
>>>>>>> On Sep 23, 2014, at 12:24 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>>>>>> ISTM that Jim G's assessment is accurate, and that love for ritual
>> and
>>>>>>> style should not trump desire for a caring community, in the sum of
>>>> things.
>>>>>>> Scott must decide what is most important to him, and I trust that,
>>>> with the
>>>>>>> help of his therapist, he will do that.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 8:50 AM, Jim Guthrie <
>> jguthrie at pipeline.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>> From: Susan Hagen
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> It is tough but it gets much easier with practice.  The important
>>>>>>>>> thing is to never, ever, get drawn into explanations.  No is no.
>>>>>>>> In Scott's situation, it may even be that the explanation will
>> have no
>>>>>>>> effect at all, let alone saying, "No" or even "Not right now.."
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>  From what Scott has related, he's been willing and able to do what
>>>> he's
>>>>>>>> been asked, but right now he's dealing with personal issues that
>> need
>>>> time
>>>>>>>> and clear-thinking and relief from obligations.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> In a "normal" parish where there's great concern and care for each
>>>> other,
>>>>>>>> the situation would be understood, and other parish members would
>>>> pitch in,
>>>>>>>> with no explanation needed. But Scott's situation is challenging
>>>> because it
>>>>>>>> appears that neither fellow parishioners nor the Rector give much
>> of
>>>> a hoot
>>>>>>>> about his situation.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> This is not about burnout, or offering ones gifts as one is able.
>> It's
>>>>>>>> about Christian Community, or lack of it, I think.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Cheers,
>>>>>>>> Jim Guthrie
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Scott R. Knitter
>>>>> Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
>>
>>
>> --
>> Scott R. Knitter
>> Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
>>