[Magdalen] Tickle Box Repair, Jon-style

[Jim Guthrie]

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband 
decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his 
wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld 
figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his 
going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.The husband said he was willing 
to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could 
collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least 
something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar 
bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to 
accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.A few days later, Artie 
followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart Store. There, he surprised 
her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. 
As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the 
manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. 
Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to 
strangle the produce manager as well.However, unknown to Artie, the entire 
proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the 
store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and 
arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid 
plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband, who 
was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared..

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'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for$1.00 @ WAL-MART!'

Oh, quit Groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friend 
and then sent it on to my other warped friends.

Cheers,
Jim