[Magdalen] Prayer request -- too long, but needed to write it

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

The newsletter is certainly very thoughtfully laid out.  Those who have no
idea what is involved see seamless flowing prose and organization and think
this stuff just happens by itself.

It's also a possible idea to keep a closer eye of the person who allows you
to know that so-and-so is POd at you for some reason.  Why is this person
trying to stir up problems in the first place?

I've been in this situation and should have just shut the person down at
the outset: "Hey, don't tell me!  tell that person to talk to me or I'm
just not interested, okay?" My mistake was not doing that right off the
bat.

I remember my rector told me he would tell someone, "You know, I heard
something, and from what I heard, I think I'm a bit mad at you -- and I
don't want to be mad at you, so let's talk about this." All of this said in
a very gentle, friendly manner.

If I knew then what I know now ! ! ! !

I hope you have some good supports within the church to unload to.

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

On Tue, Aug 11, 2015 at 9:57 AM, Jo Craddock <jocraddock at gmail.com> wrote:

> My parish is an old parish with a proud history. Some might even say
> prideful. But, it is changing. And, some don't like that.
>
> So, a small minority of niche attendees (i.e., only "their" service, only
> "their" ladies groups, rarely or never seen at a potluck or Sunday School
> class) are charging back, as they believe is their duty. And, it probably
> is. Change is not always right or good, and should be examined and studied
> -- in the light of the Gospel. And, besides: their grandmothers gave that
> incandescent bulb to the church in 1910, and there's no freakin' reason we
> need LED, you liberal, pinko, commie scum.
>
> Our rector has conducted same-sex blessings, and is prepared to open the
> sacrament of marriage equally -- in line with current requirements for holy
> matrimony at our parish -- with the approval (expected) of our bishop. Our
> rector will baptize or bury anyone. He preaches the Gospel -- not Michael
> Curry-style, but consistently. One particular sermon is acknowledged by one
> who is well-known as one of the largest purses in the church, if not the
> entire metro area, of their underwriting a city-wide afterschool music
> program, now involving a couple of thousand children. That means some
> children from underserved areas are bussed to our and other churches in the
> afternoons for music lessons and homework help by talented musicians and
> musicians trained in child pedagogy -- alongside some of our Day School
> children. Those who come from other schools don't all look like our Day
> School children, and it ain't just the uniform difference.
>
> We're downtown. We have many neighbors on the street without an address.
> We hand out $2 bags of protein, carb, and water for the asking. Some of
> those people ask for a bag more than once. Imagine; they're hungry again,
> the next day. These adults don't look like the adults in their Escalades
> and BMWs dropping off their Day School children in the morning, and some
> believe exposing our children to the site of such people is inappropriate.
> Yes, that's what they said: It's in appropriate for those people to be seen.
>
> And, it seems I have become a side target on which to direct some of their
> anger.
>
> I have been largely writing (90-95% or more) and laying out our
> newsletters and service leaflets for nearly 18 years. Four years ago, you
> might recall, I joined the staff full-time, having been a contractor
> previously, and was charged with everything that is seen, read, or touched;
> if not writing, then presenting it so that it is in our voice and our
> brand, adding web site, e-newsletters, promotional pieces, marketing, etc.
> to my plate.
>
> Sometime after starting our e-newsletter, I began adding a little piece of
> art and link to the Sunday readings to each issue. About half the time I
> write it, myself; and about half the time I've found a quote to use
> (attributed, permission granted) that I find pertinent. You can see our
> issues:
> http://stjamesbr.org/resources/newsletters
>
> I've often wondered on Thursday evenings as I'm still working on the
> reading and study of the lections I started on Tuesday, whether anyone
> reads these things; am I wasting my time that should be spent finishing the
> mobile design for the newsletter I've had on the back burner for months?
>
> Well, one of our vocal minority did read and was offended by my selections
> for the July 3 issue:
> http://stjamescsf.org/eMessenger3Jul2015.html
>
> This was the week of SCOTUS rulings on ACA and marriage equality, and the
> PB's message on same. Mind you, the offended person has never contacted me,
> although we have known each other and our families for >20 years. He's
> never asked my reasoning in selecting this quote for inclusion.
>
> In fact, I felt it could be read as some comfort whichever side of the
> issues one is on; we *do* have many sins from which to repent, and (while I
> don't think so), some of our current decisions could be wrong. We can hope
> our posterity will judge us with the mercy we might give those who came
> before us. With a link to the gospel about turning the other cheek. And,
> <enter flag wave, here> an acknowledgment of our national birthday
> celebration, to boot.
>
> A "values subcommittee" to a "strategic planning committee" to conduct
> "lay oversite of all communications that come from the church" has been
> proposed. (Lay oversees all -- even the rector's letters?!?! The asst.
> rector's email reminders of bible study?!?!) There are enough layers of
> legislation there to believe this will never come to fruition. However, it
> has also added another arrow to the quiver of those who wish to sling some
> at the rector; he's responsible for hiring me, after all. He has been most
> supportive. His original charge to me was, "Standing still is not an
> option. Push the envelope." He, and other vestry members tell me they,
> "have [my] back." This sort of proposal is also, functionally, impossible.
> I'm working an average of 45-50 hours/week, now, to stay near the top of
> things. If I had to pass everything through another someone, anyone, we're
> sunk, in my opinion. It is, as I see it, my line in the sand.
>
> I ask for your prayers for the battles on the ground still to be fought as
> the GenCon legislation moves forward; I'm sure there are many other
> parishes experiencing the same sort of thing, and there will be unintended
> and unexpected victims.
>
> Peace,
> Jo
>
>