[Magdalen] pain

[Ann Markle]

There is healing that is not the same as a cure.  Praying for wholeness,
whatever form that may take, is not selfish or self-centered.  Healing and
wholeness contribute to the healing and wholeness of the whole world, and
are a furthering of God's will for us, even if a physical cure is not
likely or even possible.  I pray for your release from the bondage of
fear.  I pray for your release from physical pain, whether that means more
medication or not.  I love you, Brud.  I do not always respond on-list to
prayer requests, but you are in my prayers always.  Your decline saddens
me, but please don't fear.  All will be well and all will be well.  You'll
see.

Ann

The Rev. Ann Markle
Buffalo, NY
ann.markle at aya.yale.edu
blog:  www.onewildandpreciouslife.typepad.com

On Thu, Aug 27, 2015 at 4:32 PM, Jon Egger <revegger at gmail.com> wrote:

> Despite being mobile, my pain levels are raging ever higher, the doc has
> increased my slow release morphine to 75mg every twelve hours. He has also
> increased the vicodin.
>
> The two hospice RNs who care for me have begin mentioning 'nursing
> facility' and 'hospice care facility' to me.  My non-response has been
> noted.
>
> Pain getting worse, more narcotics, pain meds,  and talk of hospice have
> left me crestfallen today. There are no words to describe how sad and
> scared I am.  During the spring of 2013 a parishioner asked me to pray for
> myself and my healing.  I thought for a long time and replied, "Sister,
> I've seen my x-rays...God can't fix those lungs." Such praying (for
> yourself) seems so self-centered, so full of hubris, and terribly selfish.
>
> Thanks for letting me vent. Peace, baseball, and Netflix will be my
> companion until Dawn gets off work at 830 tonight.
>
> Grace and peace,
> brud
>