[Magdalen] Minor dentist prayer pats, please

[Kristin Rollins]

There is a lot of bright side. I am not at my darkest day, but I expect
today to test my patience.

This morning, shortly after Heather left for work, I sneezed and had a
large piece of tooth stuff come out of my mouth, large enough that I was
immediately sure, even without pain, that a dentist's attention was
somewhat urgently required. I was kind of reluctant to eat or drink
afterward, to be honest.

A few hours later, after an appointment had been scheduled for first
thing tomorrow morning, I successfully attempted some water and then
moved on to some food. And…despite trying to keep everything on the far
side of my mouth, I had another piece of similar size come loose and
come out.

Heather knows me well: has chosen a practice with "sedation" in the name
for my appointment. I am mostly not thinking about the appointment.
Trying to keep my focus on today.

There is some calm to knowing that our income tax refund is due to be
deposited tonight or tomorrow according to our credit union's online
banking setup. So I am not completely anxious about paying for it. And
am able to mostly not think about the cost side of things. At least for
the moment.

I am mostly hoping that it doesn't begin to feel painful (though there
is Advil in the house). And a little anxious about my ability to remain
calm and collected between now and 9am tomorrow. I do have a backlog of
TV shows on Hulu to watch and podcasts on my phone to listen to. And
it's a sunny day. So even if I stay in the house (as is likely), I don't
expect too much pressure on my mood, but… I have had a few nights in a
row of sleep with annoying dreams, and the car stuff last week already
had me more anxious than I have been. So while I am OK now and have been
so far, after the initial "what just happened," I don't have the
confidence I would like that I will stay in a good emotional place. But
trying to just let that be whatever it is when it comes.

K

-- 
  Kristin Rollins
  kristin at verumsolum.com
  Portsmouth, VA