[Magdalen] Next update

[Sally Davies]

Dear Jim

Thomas Merton's prayer may capture some of what you're feeling right now:

My Lord God,

I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I
cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and
the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am
actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact
please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope
that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I
do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about
it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in
the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you
will never leave me to face my perils alone.

My understanding of Hospice care is that it is about quality of life...and
it seems that people often say that their one regret, later, is leaving it
too long to apply for Hospice care. In other words, hardly anyone says they
went there too soon, but quite a few wish they'd gone sooner.

So I pray that your sense of timing here is on track, that this is "the
right road though you may know nothing about it".

I also have the sense, as we accompany you in spirit on this hard, hard
road, that the separation you and Marcy may now experience, could be
different but will not be worse, than the separation that has already been
at work when you have been exhausted, unable to cope, and Marcy has been
unable to understand. The anger, frustration and raw pain of those moments
brings about a profound kind of separation that outlasts the moment and can
come to colour everything if given the chance.

So...If Hospice is about sustaining a  better quality of life, that's not
for Marcy alone but for you as a couple. She cannot be said to have a
preferred quality of life, when you do not...and for you at this time,
staying connected to life requires some fairly specific things, like being
able to attend meetings every day.  Or just to take the time to breathe, to
read, to be quiet.


I bless this time to you Jim, and Marcy, and Matthew, as a time of enabling
grace and abiding peace and holy rest.

We are with you and we love you

Sally D


Tuesday, 22 March 2016, Ginga Wilder <gingawilder at gmail.com> wrote:

> Jim, Marcy, Matthew, and you remain in my prayers.  I pray especially that
> the adjustment will be smooth, especially for Marcy and for you.  You are a
> loving caregiver for your wife and the move to Hospice center is sure
> evidence of that.  God hold you all close in this Holy Week.
>
> Ginga
>
> On Tue, Mar 22, 2016 at 11:18 AM, Marion Thompson <
> marionwhitevale at gmail.com <javascript:;>
> > wrote:
>
> > May this be the holiest of weeks for you and Marcy and Matthew.
> >
> > Marion, a pilgrim
> >
> >
> > On 3/22/2016 10:19 AM, James Handsfield wrote:
> >
> >> Good day, everyone -
> >>
> >> Thank you for your continued prayers for Marcy, Matthew, and me.  Over
> >> the past couple of months, it’s become increasingly clear that I can no
> >> longer provide the kind of care Marcy needs, both physically and
> >> emotionally.  So . . . tomorrow, Marcy will become resident at Hospice
> >> Atlanta Center.  I’ll still be able to take her out to church, lunch,
> >> dinner, etc., and even bring her home for a few days (kind of reverse
> >> respite) for special occasions.
> >>
> >> Not how I’d envisioned Holy Week, but it’s for the best for all of us.
> >>
> >> -------------------------------------
> >> Education is its own reward, both for the individual and for society.
> >>
> >> Jim Handsfield
> >> jhandsfield at att.net <javascript:;>
> >>
> >> .
> >>
> >>
> >
>