[Magdalen] prayer request

[Jay Weigel]

Molly, you have my prayers and sympathy. BTDT. I have a similar problem,
except mine is to learn not to freeze up and panic/freak out when my S/O
goes on a cleaning binge. With my late ex, that was almost invariably the
prelude to a drunken rampage and abusive rant.

On Mon, May 2, 2016 at 9:57 AM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:

> No, it's not my responsibility to fix Mr. X.  I'm willing to act as the
> Last Straw if the rector calls Peter in.  But it's also important for me to
> learn not to shut down and clam up when I'm faced with shit'n'abuse, which
> has been my m.o.
>
> Molly
>
> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no
> other way. -- Mark Twain
>
> > On May 2, 2016, at 9:46 AM, Marion Thompson <marionwhitevale at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> >
> > Beyond your personal interactions with Mr. X, is it your responsibility
> to fix Mr. X, or is it the rector's?
> >
> > Marion, a pilgrim
> >
> >
> >> On 5/1/2016 10:22 PM, Molly Wolf wrote:
> >> I am happy there.  And I know that a very large part of my reaction is
> my own history.  But I also know that Mr. X's behaviour is of concern to
> the rector because X is apt to go off half-cocked at others as well.  X
> popped his cork at me twice in the last couple of weeks over matters that I
> had previously cleared with him.
> >>
> >> Molly
> >>
> >> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in
> no other way. -- Mark Twain
> >>
> >>> On May 1, 2016, at 10:14 PM, Marion Thompson <
> marionwhitevale at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> You're in my prayers, Molly.  I hope this situation can be resolved
> because you had sounded happy there.
> >>>
> >>> Marion, a pilgrim
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>> On 5/1/2016 9:33 PM, Molly Wolf wrote:
> >>>> Listlings,.
> >>>>
> >>>> I have a prayer request.  A bit of background first:
> >>>>
> >>>> As some of you know, I spent 21 years of my life with a guy -- my
> sons' father -- who would explode at random.  If he took something the
> wrong way (and he was quite creative about this) he might go into an
> immediate huff, or scream abuse, or throw things, or hit me.  Or he might
> sit on the affront (usually my inability to read his mind) and then go
> into a major snit or a fit of frothing rage days or weeks later.  I wasn't
> the only person he did this to.
> >>>>
> >>>> The first parish I joined as an adult, after a long hiatus, was also
> a place where people would go off into snits or rages at random.  It was
> known as a priest-eater and is still a very, very sick puppy.  I got bitten
> numerous times, once of them very seriously indeed. The place needs to be
> fumigated with burning sulfur.
> >>>>
> >>>> So: I've "done" accepting abuse, lots of times. I recognize the
> patterns when I see them, and I also recognize them physically, by anxiety
> attacks and other psychological and behavioural signals as my subconscious
> screeches to a halt
> >>>>
> >>>> During the month of April, I got bitten once again by someone (call
> him X) who's got quite the reputation for turning on people when he feels
> affronted, which is often and (again) random.  I was trying to help him,
> and he took my actions amiss and turned nasty.  My rector has discussed
> this with me and is quite clear that I am NOT the problem here; Mr. X. is.
> >>>>
> >>>> But the pattern is identical to the one I've endured in the past. I
> am normally quite a tough cookie, but I couldn't face going to church this
> morning because I was walking-into-walls gut frightened. This is
> discouraging because I was greatly enjoying my new church and starting to
> flourish there (see new website) and now I'm backsliding into sloth and
> fear.
> >>>>
> >>>> I have the sense that something needs to be done about this guy, and
> that right smartly.  But in the meantime, please hold my hand as I stick my
> thumb in my mouth.
> >>>>
> >>>> Thanking you kindly,
> >>>> Molly
> >>>>
> >> .
> >>
> >
>
>