[Magdalen] Sunday Groaner

[Marion Thompson]

:-)

Marion


On 10/3/2016 5:46 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford wrote:
> A duck walks into a bar (and boy does that smart!). The bartender notices
> him and says, "Hey buddy! Your pants are down!"
>
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>
> On Sun, Oct 2, 2016 at 11:13 AM, Michael Bishop <rev at michaelbishop.name>
> wrote:
>
>> Every Sunday in our weekly church notice sheet I include a secion called
>> "Sunday Groaner". This proves perhaps the most popular item and an
>> incentive to people to take it home and read the whole lot.
>> This week's Groaners might appeal to those on this list:
>>
>> Sunday Groaner
>> Choice
>> Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president, and 50
>> for Miss America?
>>
>> A WC worth visiting
>> Years ago a young couple were house-hunting in rural Somerset, and so
>> visited an elderly clergyman who had a cottage for sale. Later they could
>> not remember seeing a bathroom in the property, and so wrote asking where
>> the WC might be.
>> The minister was not familiar with the term, and decided they must be
>> asking for the nearest Wesleyan Church. And so he wrote them this reply:
>> ‘Dear … I regret to inform you that the nearest WC is fifty miles away,
>> which is most unfortunate if you are in the habit of going regularly. This
>> one is situated in a beautiful valley, and many local people make a day of
>> it, setting off in early morning and taking picnics with them. Some travel
>> by car, others by bus, and some (on foot) arrive just in time. A bell rings
>> 20 minutes before the WC opens, and there is plenty of standing room if you
>> are late.
>> Inside, there are 40 plush seats, and beautiful carvings on the walls. The
>> children sing as they process in, and there is even an organ accompaniment.
>> I hope this will encourage you to visit it, and enjoy what it offers. I
>> myself have not been for five months, and you can imagine this pains me
>> very much. Yours faithfully…
>>
>> Wear out
>> Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were. I'm so tough,"
>> said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week." Well,"
>> said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans
>> in a day."
>> "That's nothing," said the third boy. "When my parents take me to see my
>> grandma and grandpa, I can wear them out in just one hour."
>>
>> --
>> ....
>> ....
>> God bless
>>
>> Michael Bishop
>> rev at michaelbishop.name
>>
>> Rector of Boylestone, Church Broughton, Dalbury, Longford, Long Lane,
>> Sutton-on-the-Hill & Trusley
>>
>> Diocese of Derby, England
>>
>>