[Magdalen] Sunday Groaner

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

Ah no! I bow before the true master!

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

On Mon, Oct 3, 2016 at 7:17 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com> wrote:

> Are you sure your real name isn't Jon Eggar?
>
> > On Oct 3, 2016, at 5:46 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
> oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > A duck walks into a bar (and boy does that smart!). The bartender notices
> > him and says, "Hey buddy! Your pants are down!"
> >
> > James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> > *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> > except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
> >
> > On Sun, Oct 2, 2016 at 11:13 AM, Michael Bishop <rev at michaelbishop.name>
> > wrote:
> >
> >> Every Sunday in our weekly church notice sheet I include a secion called
> >> "Sunday Groaner". This proves perhaps the most popular item and an
> >> incentive to people to take it home and read the whole lot.
> >> This week's Groaners might appeal to those on this list:
> >>
> >> Sunday Groaner
> >> Choice
> >> Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president, and
> 50
> >> for Miss America?
> >>
> >> A WC worth visiting
> >> Years ago a young couple were house-hunting in rural Somerset, and so
> >> visited an elderly clergyman who had a cottage for sale. Later they
> could
> >> not remember seeing a bathroom in the property, and so wrote asking
> where
> >> the WC might be.
> >> The minister was not familiar with the term, and decided they must be
> >> asking for the nearest Wesleyan Church. And so he wrote them this reply:
> >> ‘Dear … I regret to inform you that the nearest WC is fifty miles away,
> >> which is most unfortunate if you are in the habit of going regularly.
> This
> >> one is situated in a beautiful valley, and many local people make a day
> of
> >> it, setting off in early morning and taking picnics with them. Some
> travel
> >> by car, others by bus, and some (on foot) arrive just in time. A bell
> rings
> >> 20 minutes before the WC opens, and there is plenty of standing room if
> you
> >> are late.
> >> Inside, there are 40 plush seats, and beautiful carvings on the walls.
> The
> >> children sing as they process in, and there is even an organ
> accompaniment.
> >> I hope this will encourage you to visit it, and enjoy what it offers. I
> >> myself have not been for five months, and you can imagine this pains me
> >> very much. Yours faithfully…
> >>
> >> Wear out
> >> Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were. I'm so
> tough,"
> >> said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week."
> Well,"
> >> said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can wear out a pair of
> jeans
> >> in a day."
> >> "That's nothing," said the third boy. "When my parents take me to see my
> >> grandma and grandpa, I can wear them out in just one hour."
> >>
> >> --
> >> ....
> >> ....
> >> God bless
> >>
> >> Michael Bishop
> >> rev at michaelbishop.name
> >>
> >> Rector of Boylestone, Church Broughton, Dalbury, Longford, Long Lane,
> >> Sutton-on-the-Hill & Trusley
> >>
> >> Diocese of Derby, England
> >>
> >>
>