[Magdalen] We could not deliver your parcel, #000871378.

[M J _Mike_ Logsdon]

Got this today from FedEx International Ground:

Dear Customer,

Courier was unable to deliver the parcel to you.
Shipment Label is attached to email.

Warm regards,
Earl Beach,
Sr. Delivery Agent.

... and lo and behold, a real, live, genuine .zip file was attached.  Beautiful.

But not nearly as beautiful as Earl Beach's FedEx email address:  earl.beach at withluv4you.com .

It seldom gets any better than this!