[Magdalen] P.S. Re: Update

[Jay Weigel]

Molly, when I was younger, I didn't get involved in some of the parish
stuff I probably should have because they were, at the time, the province
of people older than I, and I did not feel "wanted". In hindsight, I should
probably have gone ahead anyway, but I was not as bold as I am now. There
are likely younger folk in your parish who may feel the same way as I did
then.

My parents' parish was a bit different. It's the largest in the diocese,
and though mom and dad were active for a long time, once they were no
longer able to be, it didn't seem to be noticed. I suspect that size, and
an ever-changing associate clergy, worked against them. Once we contacted
the priest and got things rolling, even though they were homebound, one of
the associates took charge of their care and a Stephen Minister was
assigned to them, fortunately someone mom knew or dad might not have let
her into the house. A regular "parish visitor" who was also a friend of
mom's stopped by frequently right up until her death. But it took us
contacting the prriest or they might just have drpped off the radar
completely.

My prayers are with you for these last couple of chemo sessions. I know
very well about the cumulative effect and I am glad you have a good care
team looking after you at home. I hope your new nurse is much more caring
and attentive!


On Sat, Feb 18, 2017 at 5:14 PM Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:

> Sorry, Grace, for taking your words amiss.  My bad.  I do understand the
> problem you're talking about.
>
>
>
> Molly
>
>
>
> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no
> other way. -- Mark Twain
>
>
>
> > On Feb 18, 2017, at 4:45 PM, Ginga Wilder <gingawilder at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >
>
> > Molly wrote, "the parish knows it has a problem but doesn't have a clue
>
> > about what to do about it.'
>
> >
>
> > Keeping everything The Same (It's a tradition) is so common in Christian
>
> > communities.  One of the really good things that has happened in missions
>
> > and parishes in SC who were left without familiar churches is that things
>
> > have had to change.  IME, death comes when change is needed and is not
>
> > made...fought out yes, but discussed, argued, gospel taught in meetings
> of
>
> > our call as lay persons, etc.  This sort of change is good for the
>
> > community.  A good goal to hold Molly.
>
> >
>
> > One of the most powerful (excuse this word) spiritual experiences I've
> ever
>
> > had what at my former parish when we needed to call a youth .  The rector
>
> > called a meeting to discuss this concern.  Probably 75-100 people, mostly
>
> > dissidents, showed up.  We lined the parish hall with chairs, the
> associate
>
> > rector kept us focused, the rector asked the questions, and we had a free
>
> > for all exchange.  Most of the people were against the expenditure and at
>
> > the end of the meeting, with very few execptions, the group gathered felt
>
> > the need to hire a youth minister.  We did and this was a very good thing
>
> > for our parish, not just the youth.
>
> >
>
> > Ginga
>
> >
>
> >> On Sat, Feb 18, 2017 at 3:18 PM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
>
> >>
>
> >> Barbara is one of our associate clergy and the closest to me in peppery
>
> >> Episcopalianism.  She said that we really need more and younger people
> on
>
> >> the Pastoral Care Committee.  I mean to make an issue of this when I'm
> well
>
> >> enough, because the parish knows it has a problem but doesn't have a
> clue
>
> >> about what to do about it.
>
> >>
>
> >> Molly
>
> >>
>
> >> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in
> no
>
> >> other way. -- Mark Twain
>
> >>
>
> >>> On Feb 18, 2017, at 3:06 PM, Ginga Wilder <gingawilder at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> >>>
>
> >>> (((((Molly)))))  I am glad you spoke with Barbara...is she your priest?
>
> >>>
>
> >>> I think another important part of all this ministry thing is that
> things
>
> >>> need to be kept current.  I don't just mean who is on the prayer list
> or
>
> >>> who needs soup.  Rather, I mean that lots of very excellent information
>
> >> is
>
> >>> 'out there' on how to do lay ministry in a parish and found it on all
>
> >>> manner of scriptural references....as in love your neighbor as
> yourself.
>
> >>> Churches can be clueless about that.  The foundation is love.
>
> >>>
>
> >>> Love you,
>
> >>> Ginga
>
> >>>
>
> >>> On Sat, Feb 18, 2017 at 2:54 PM, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com>
>
> >>> wrote:
>
> >>>
>
> >>>> ((((Molly)))) I am glad that you reached out and I am pleased that you
>
> >>>> will be ministered to. It's complicated isn't it? Maybe your situation
>
> >> will
>
> >>>> impact things in your parish going forward.
>
> >>>> Hugs and love
>
> >>>> Lynn
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> On Feb 18, 2017, at 2:37 PM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> Grace, I am undergoing treatment for breast cancer.  I am on the
> parish
>
> >>>> prayer list.  No ESP required.
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> I just had a long, fruitful, and satisfying conversation with one of
> our
>
> >>>> associate priests, which covered all of my concerns.
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> The parish does have a Pastoral Care Committee, median age 80+, which
> is
>
> >>>> tireless in looking after the pastoral needs of its age cohort but not
>
> >> so
>
> >>>> good at remembering younger folk.  (This is also true of ACWs in the
>
> >>>> smaller parishes.).
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> Fear of being intrusive inhibits people from calling.  This, I
> suspect,
>
> >> is
>
> >>>> one of the most deeply established holy cultural shibboleths in our
>
> >> local
>
> >>>> culture:  that suffering is supposed to be private.  It's true of
>
> >> physical
>
> >>>> suffering ("stiff upper lip") but it's especially true of emotional,
>
> >>>> psychological, or spiritual suffering.  Sitting with someone else's
>
> >>>> suffering terrifies people because they expect to have to fix the
>
> >> sufferer.
>
> >>>> So people care, but they don't act.
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> It took some courage to call Barbara, but I've done it.  So I can now
>
> >>>> expect soup, at least.  Which is great.
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> And ESP? It's two way.  How is the sufferer supposed to know that
> people
>
> >>>> care if nobody does or says anything?
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> Molly
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in
>
> >> no
>
> >>>> other way. -- Mark Twain
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>>> On Feb 18, 2017, at 2:11 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
>
> >>>> wrote:
>
> >>>>>
>
> >>>>> Oh. Well, I guess their clergy *did* have ESP then...
>
> >>>>>
>
> >>>>>> On Feb 18, 2017, at 10:44 AM, James Handsfield <jhandsfield at att.net
> >
>
> >>>> wrote:
>
> >>>>>>
>
> >>>>>> No, there were a few people who insisted that clergy should simply
>
> >> know
>
> >>>> when someone is in need of a pastoral visit, and neither they, nor he
>
> >> would
>
> >>>> let it go.
>
> >>>>>>
>
> >>>>>> -------------------------------------
>
> >>>>>> Education is its own reward, both for the individual and for
> society.
>
> >>>>>>
>
> >>>>>> Jim Handsfield
>
> >>>>>> jhandsfield at att.net
>
> >>>>>>
>
> >>>>>>> On Feb 18, 2017, at 9:54 AM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
>
> >>>> wrote:
>
> >>>>>>>
>
> >>>>>>> What, Jim...no one visited him?
>
> >>>>>>
>
> >>>>
>
> >>>>
>
> >>
>
> >>
>
>
>
>