[Magdalen] Another good one from + GA

[Lynn Ronkainen]

Dr. Benhase's Prescription for Well-Being

November 2, 2017 eCrozier #356

What if loving our neighbor was not only the primary and most important way 
(as Jesus says) we love God, but also was remarkably good for our personal 
health and well-being? Consistent research indicates that across all races, 
ages, genders, income levels, and social classes the lack of regular 
neighborly connection causes a risk of premature death that's about twice as 
threatening to us as being obese or smoking. The research shows the best way 
we can improve our well-being is to devote ourselves to neighborly 
relationships like the ones we have with our family, friends, and, well, our 
neighbors.

And yet. The Bureau of Labor Statistics publishes what's called their "Time 
Use Survey," which sounds like what it is, a survey of how we use our time. 
Its survey says that the average American invests a little more than one 
half hour a day on neighborly interaction compared to three hours watching 
television and around one hour on personal grooming. We do this even though 
the overwhelming research about human well-being tells us that the most 
consistent predictor of our well-being depends on the time we spend on our 
relationships with others. In other words, if we want to have personal 
well-being we should really be spending less time alone, not more.

Ruth Whippman, author of America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness 
Is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks, writes that the above data is 
virtually ignored by much of the advice given about well-being found in 
self-help books, at seminars, or on retreats. She says these mostly pitch 
well-being as an "inside job," where we seek to find our "true self" 
unencumbered by our relationships. We're urged by these so-called experts to 
become emotionally independent (not interdependent), diving deep into our 
souls to "discover" ourselves, thus finding personal contentment and 
well-being.

On the surface this sounds like a good spiritual exercise. And it can be. 
Such soulful introspection can help us become more self-aware, thereby 
understanding ourselves better. But the more self-aware I become, the more I 
"discover" myself, the more I realize just how awful I can be to other 
people, how so often I tend to be overly self-focused bordering on 
self-centeredness. The last thing I need for my well-being then is to become 
more that way. When I take a deep-dive into my soul, the discovery I make 
about my "true self" is that I'm, at least in part, a self-absorbed sinner. 
Not a news flash.

What pulls me out of my self-absorption isn't more "me" time. It's the claim 
my neighbor (i.e., my wife, children, friends, colleagues, community 
members, etc.) has on me simply by being near me ("neighbor" literally means 
one who's "nigh" or near to us). Now we may not like their claim on us. It 
may seem at times like a burden. It may even appear to us that they only 
have one goal in mind: making our lives difficult. Still, their claim on our 
love for them is God-commanded and, as it also turns out, the best thing for 
our long-term well-being. It seems that God has so ordered the creation that 
we can only thrive (i.e., have well-being) through the often messy, joyful, 
and complicated love for our neighbor. So, Dr. Benhase has a prescription 
for your well-being: "Go, love two neighbors as yourself and call me in the 
morning!"

The Rt. Rev. Scott Anson Benhase

Bishop of Georgia



I really like this +guy!
Lynn

website: www.ichthysdesigns.com

When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I have not a 
single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything You gave me." 
attributed to Erma Bombeck

"Mercy and compassion are more than personal options. They are the antidotes 
to that fear and hatred." Mark Singel