[Magdalen] Reunion blues

[Simon Kershaw]

I went to my 40th reunion last year.

Soon afterwards I wrote this:

'And secondly there was meeting the person who had been the class bully, 
and I one of his victims. "I was in two minds whether to come," he said, 
"and especially what I would say to you." "We didn't always get on, did 
we?" I replied, putting my arm round his shoulder. "I was horrible," he 
said, "not a nice person at all. I was bullied at home and I behaved the 
same at school." I think it was a moment of closure for both of us, 40 
years on.' https://www.facebook.com/kershaw.simon/posts/1423775084383838

and then added this in a private email:

'The background on Saturday was that the two of us had bumped into each 
other very early on in the afternoon, and I had asked what he had been 
doing and we chatted about our families and careers. Then later we found 
ourselves together again, and that's when the reported conversation took 
place, but after he had said that he didn't know how or what he would 
say to me he added "but you were brilliant, you just talked to me", and 
it was at that moment that it occurred to me that I had it completely in 
my power to show that he was forgiven (I explicitly use religious 
language here). My gesture and words were completely spontaneous but 
intended to convey that. I presume they did so because he then opened up 
about his background. That was not known to me at the time (and doesn't 
absolve him of responsibility for what he did), but I really sensed 
there was closure for him in this. And later, as I wrote the Facebook 
post, I realized that in a sense there was also closure for me.
I didn't expect any of that to happen on Saturday.
So ... okay, I'm happy for this to be shared with the Headmaster if you
wish to do so. But any further sharing I'd want to think about a bit more.'

You never know what's going to happen, or what impact it might have, do you?

simon

On 07/09/2018 21.13, Rick Mashburn wrote:
> I've never been to any of my reunions. I have absolutely no regrets. I see
> the people I want to see from time to time and have no interest in the
> rest.



-- 
Simon Kershaw
simon at kershaw.org.uk
Saint Ives, Cambridgeshire