[Magdalen] benefits office

[ME Michaud]

This month’s direct deposit of my tiny, beloved pension check was
different, so I called the benefits office. Not worried. Just for
record-keeping info.

A robot answered.

“If you’re considering retiring, press one.
To change your deductions, press two.
To change your direct deposit information, press three.
To report a death, press four.”

I was so shocked I had to press five to “repeat this information.”
-M, not dead yet