[Magdalen] Advice - Malcolm

[Grace Cangialosi]

Rick,
This is always hard, made more so because our pets can’t speak for themselves. I’ve had to put down my last two dogs, and in both cases I probably could have waited longer, but they were clearly unhappy. But one thing that helped with the last one two years ago was that the vet said to me at one point, “what you’re really doing now is providing Hospice care. You decide when it’s time.” My dog was suffering from dementia, was sleeping most of the time and was clearly confused whenever she was awake. Somehow the Hospice analogy made the decision easier.

You are lucky to have a vet who will come to the house, and I hope you’ll take advantage of that. Could you also add a spiritual piece to that? I once went to the home of a parishioner to do a prayer/memorial for her dog who was to be euthanized later that day. We had tried to coordinate that with the vet’s visit, but that didn’t work out. However, doing that seemed to ease the burden a bit. And two or three years later, when I saw the young woman’s parents, who had been present, they brought that up and said how much it had meant to their daughter and to them.

I know your decision, whatever it is, will be the best one for Malcolm.

Prayers,
Grace


> On Jan 24, 2022, at 12:49 AM, Rick Mashburn <ricklmashburn at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Dear friends,
> 
> It's been a hard day at our house. As some of you know, Malcolm was
> diagnosed with calcium oxalate bladder stones for some years now. He's been
> on meds to balance the Ph in his urine (believed to pre-dispose dogs to
> these types of stones) with success for the last 3 or 4 years.
> 
> In the last six months, the number of stones has increased and he's needed
> hydropropulsion therapy multiple times. Last week, that stopped working. He
> was at the vet on Thursday and Friday but they were not able to clear his
> urethra. In spite of taht, on Friday night, he was able to urinate almost
> normally and to a lesser extent on Saturday. Today, it has gotten much
> worse. He is able to urinate but not very much and it's obvious he is not
> able to empty his bladder.
> 
> We are walking him more frequently so he can empty his bladder as much as
> possible but we know this is not a sustainable situation. The worst case
> scenario would be a ruptured bladder which would be painful and traumatic
> for all of us. I can't stand the thought of that happening to him.
> 
> We've been in touch with a vet who makes house calls. They provide
> euthenasia in a gentle, supportive way that would let us say goodbye to him
> without trauma. But, the thought of saying goodbye too soon is also hard to
> imagine.
> 
> I know many, many of you have had to make this agonizing decision. What
> made the difference for you? What is the right criteria? We don't want to
> make a decision too quickly but I'm afraid that is mostly just selfishness.
> I don't want to say goodbye at all but the window for that is closing --
> and could close even more quickly than we imagine.
> 
> We know our hearts will be broken either way. We want to do the right thing
> for Malcolm.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> Rick