[Magdalen] Palliative Care

[Sally Davies]

I recently had the privilege to work with a fairly young lady in end-stage
MND. We have very little by way of hospice or home care here but everyone
pulled together to get her home. Her husband adores and has often
depended on her but they had not discussed, between them, how they each
wanted this time to be. The focus was always either on 'right now' or
on 'death'. But there's a considerable space between those points and this
is where it became difficult.

People need good, detailed information at a very practical level, e.g. that
those whose bodies are fading don't really get hungry but they do need
(safe) hydration. And couples need a common understanding even if they
don't agree on every little thing.

If I were Marcy's friend I would not pray for her death, but for her dying
that it might be a holy and harmonious time, as free from pain as possible
and a journey to be shared. The veil is gossamer thin, may she see the
lights of Heaven guiding her home and know herself to be on holy ground all
the way. And may you both extract every last bit of juice from life in the
time that is left to you - I know you have been doing that and doing it
well.

Between the holding and the letting go, there is a moment, may it be
extraordinary for you and Marcy, Jim.

With love and sorrow and not a little awe

Sally D

On Wednesday, 24 December 2014, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com> wrote:

> prayers continue for this journey
> Lynn
>
> My email  is changing soon to: houstonKLR at gmail.com
>
>
> website: www.ichthysdesigns.com
>
> When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I have not
> a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything You gave me."
> attributed to Erma Bombeck
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "James Handsfield" <jhandsfield at icloud.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2014 8:34 PM
> To: "Magdalen" <Magdalen at herberthouse.org>
> Subject: [Magdalen] Palliative Care
>
>  Marcy and I had our inaugural visit with Kaiser Permanente Georgia's
>> palliative care team - this one an hour and a half.  The team is a
>> physician, a registered nurse, a social worker/therapist, a chaplain, and a
>> pharmacist (pharmacist did not attend today's meeting).  The team will most
>> likely be with us for the rest of Marcy's life, including providing home
>> hospice care when that need arises.
>>
>> It was a good visit, mostly just getting acquainted with everyone, us
>> with them and they with us.
>>
>> Marcy admitted a couple of things today:  1) she feels very badly about
>> getting weaker and weaker (no surprise there); 2) she has asked friends to
>> pray for her death.
>>
>> I was asked what secret I had for a successful marriage.  I said that
>> when Marcy and I made our marriage vows, we meant them.  It took me aback
>> when a friend mentioned she was a bit surprised that I stayed with Marcy
>> after her diagnosis.  I could only say it took no thought at all because I
>> meant what I said.  Love is an act of will, and I do and will love Marcy.
>> I will face Marcy's death with both grief and relief - I think.  But in
>> reality, I think nothing will really prepare my for her death.  The
>> chaplain commented that in Hebrew, love is an action verb.
>>
>> Once again, thanks for reading and thank you all for your prayers.
>>
>> -----------------
>> Thinking one can behave their way into heaven is an insult to the very
>> foundation of salvation.
>>
>> Jim Handsfield
>> jhandsfield at att.net
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>