[Magdalen] Thanksgiving morning

[Ginga Wilder]

Praying for you, Kristin.
Ginga

On Thu, Nov 27, 2014 at 6:00 AM, Kristin Rollins <kristin at verumsolum.com>
wrote:

> I write from the darkness of a hotel room. Hotels are one of the rare
> times I am annoyed by my internal clock being so different from my
> wife's. Because there is so little to do that won't risk disturbing her
> sleep. Even worse, this time I forgot my Bluetooth headphones, so
> podcasts and radio listening are out.
>
> I am also quite nervous. We are having Thanksgiving dinner with members
> of Heather's father's side of the family. I don't believe he and my
> mother-in-law will be present, as they hurriedly prepare a second
> location of their store for its opening day: Black Friday. (Yes,
> really.) So I expect that the only person I will have previously met in
> person today will be Heather. (One or two of them have friended me on
> Facebook, but any interaction we've had there has been pretty
> superficial.)
>
> And to top it off, Heather's family has not yet been told of my news.
> And Thanksgiving is obviously not the day for that (as I remembered last
> month when I delayed coming out to my father because it was Canadian
> Thanksgiving). So I am "introducing myself" to people I have never met
> before, while hiding who I really am, and answering to an old name and
> perceived gender. I know it is the right decision in the circumstances
> of this situation, but of course it isn't easy, and the pre-dawn
> darkness doesn't help as I sit, the only person awake in the room for
> hours.
>
> I know there are others who have it worse than I do. But there are so
> many "if onlys" in this situation that I don't dwell on, but are so easy
> to pop up unbidden. If only I had met these people before today. If only
> time hadn't gotten away, and we'd managed to tell my in-laws before it
> was too late for today. But the plan is only to be there for a few
> hours. We have a hotel room about a half-hour, I think, from where the
> family is gathering. Mealtime is expected to be an hour or two after we
> get there. And when we leave, I can relax.
>
> It's one day. I've done it before. It won't be the end of the world. But
> I'm really not looking forward to dancing around questions with awkward
> answers posed by mostly complete strangers.
>
> --
>   Kristin Rollins
>   kristin at verumsolum.com
>   Portsmouth, VA
>