[Magdalen] Some irrelevant reflections on Roger's Day 1

[James Oppenheimer]

​

On Thu, Oct 23, 2014 at 7:39 AM, ROGER STOKES <roger.stokes65 at btinternet.com
> wrote:

> After  a diversion due to the uncooperative GPS I made it to Jim
> Handsfield's to meet him and Marcy.  They are both charming people and the
> adaptations Jim has described on list certainly seem to have provided a
> livable space for them to continue to enjoy. After a chat at their place we
> went off to enjoy lunch at their favourite restaurant.  Having witnessed
> the accessibility of the premises and the attitude of the wait staff I can
> see why they like going there.


It's wonderful when one finds a place that is truly accommodating.  I
recall a Perkins near where Mom and Dad lived that we enjoyed taking Mom
after Dad had died. Whenever we visited there were always People,
especially ladies "of a certain age," as one of my Southern friends was
wont to say.  I always was able to get Mom into and out of the car,
transferring her to her wheelchair, but it was not something I was used
to.  At the hospital I never had to do that (in fact, if I ever tried, an
aide would say, "Let me do that, Mister Oppenheimer. I don't want you to
hurt yourself."), and it is something one gets accustomed to. I fondly
remember one day the manager chatted us up as we were leaving, and was also
sizing us up. Without making anything of it (and because she was not busy
at that instant) she chatted us out to our car and transferred Mom to the
car as easy as pie.  I really loved that place.

I also recall a restaurant where we laved to take Mom and Dad.  Dad had
always loved the sea, and this was right on the water. One could look out
the floor-to-ceiling glass and enjoy the small boats rushing around, and I
know Dad loved breathing the air.
He would get a wonderful bottle of wine, and some good food. Right up to
the end of his life, he continued to enjoy high quality in both, and lucky
it was for us, as it was one of the few things we could actually do for him.

I once took Mom there. Dad was at that time in the care center and could no
longer go out. Two of us settled in for a dinner of good food and good
wine, when suddenly Mom had a brief violent coughing fit (it was only clear
in retrospect that it was a cough, so one can imagine my consternation) and
wine went all over her. At the time, I was afraid she was very sick.  One
of the wait staff came over instantly and took Mom in her wheelchair into
the ladies'.
Very shortly she came back and said, "Your mother is just fine.  We just
want to try to clean her up a little bit and we'll get her back to you."
When they wheeled her back, she looked fine, and she now had an improvised
bib of white napkin over her blouse where she had spilled all of her wine.
We had a fine meal, although Mom was embarrassed, "I don't know quite what
happened. I just suddenly choked.  -- And weren't those girls just
wonderful?"
Yes they were. This guy, utterly unprepared for what happened, was so
grateful that some folks instantly stepped up. I don't know their names,
and they probably thought nothing of it, but I will never forget their
helpfulness.

One day my brother Larry tells how he took Dad there, and a young lady was
their server. She came back with the news that the particular wine Dad
requested was not available. She, being both inexperienced in wine (I'll
bet she probably knew a lot more about wine than I did, but I digress) and
an eager server, ready to suggest a substitute, she asked if he would like
to try another wine that was very popular there.  I now forget the wine,
but it's a type that tends to be a bit on the sweet side. While Dad was
still enjoying wine and food, he was much less responsive, so I'm sure that
was one reason why he just accepted the substitute.
When it arrived at the table, Dad, who could at that time hardly raise his
head, took a little sip, and gently pushed the glass away. "Tastes like
punch!"
Larry ordered a different bottle.
The next time we came there, the wait staff remembered him with delight:
"Oh that's the guy who refused the wine!" We all thought it was great. One
wait staff improvised, "Throw it in the bay!"

That restaurant closed a very short time after the last time we had need of
it, which seemed an interesting bit of timing.




James W. Oppenheimer
*“If you have a chance to accomplish something that will make things better
for people coming behind you, and you don’t do it, you're wasting your time
on this Earth.”  -- *Roberto Clemente
​