[Magdalen] This saying No is tough

[Jay Weigel]

Didn't Kate have a pretty good rejoinder for that the other day? Something
about being worth every penny you get paid for doing this job?

On Thu, Sep 25, 2014 at 5:28 PM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
wrote:

> Isn't this a lovely email for a volunteer webmaster to receive from
> the paid staff member who should really be doing the work?
>
> "Under upcoming masses, it seems you often forget to change the date
> and title of the feast.  Obviously it should be September 28, The
> Sixteenth …."
>
> Wow...that's a rather sh***y tone, in my opinion. This after having
> been told by my partner last night, after I offered what I thought
> were constructive suggestions about a problem, "You're not helping, AT
> ALL."
>
> I guess there are days when one just gets beaten up a bit. Good thing
> I'm not a sensitive type. (Is joke!)
>
> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 2:15 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
> > Seconding what Grace said, and suggesting that you put the idea forward.
> >
> > On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 1:33 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> >> Sounds very good, Scott, especially the plan to meet with the new
> rector.
> >> I hope that can happen sooner rather than later.
> >>
> >> > On Sep 23, 2014, at 1:28 PM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
> >> wrote:
> >> >
> >> > I really think this is getting better, and much faster with our new
> >> > rector. There is caring and compassion, and a community feeling, and
> >> > breakdowns in all of this, like many parishes. Long gone are the days
> >> > (if there were such days...there may have been) when it was "all about
> >> > the liturgy, and don't talk to me about pastoral needs." The
> >> > dysfunctional attitude I run into with one person in particular is his
> >> > frequent comment that "it's a new neighborhood" with the new rector
> >> > and all changes are gratuitous or uninformed (because all priests
> >> > should know how to do everything according to some standard that's out
> >> > there that everyone just knows somehow). And I disagree with that
> >> > assessment, wholeheartedly. I support the changes that Fr. Cobb has
> >> > made (in liturgical matters and others) because they're well thought
> >> > out and based on lots of experience.
> >> >
> >> > One thing that needs to happen soon is a personal meeting (over lunch
> >> > or just in his office) with the rector to get to know each other
> >> > better. Only so much can be discussed in quick encounters in the
> >> > sacristy.
> >> >
> >> >> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 11:54 AM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
> >> >> What Jay said.
> >> >>
> >> >> Molly
> >> >>
> >> >> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn
> in
> >> no other way. -- Mark Twain
> >> >>
> >> >>> On Sep 23, 2014, at 12:24 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> >> >>>
> >> >>> ISTM that Jim G's assessment is accurate, and that love for ritual
> and
> >> >>> style should not trump desire for a caring community, in the sum of
> >> things.
> >> >>> Scott must decide what is most important to him, and I trust that,
> >> with the
> >> >>> help of his therapist, he will do that.
> >> >>>
> >> >>>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 8:50 AM, Jim Guthrie <
> jguthrie at pipeline.com>
> >> wrote:
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>> From: Susan Hagen
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>> It is tough but it gets much easier with practice.  The important
> >> >>>>> thing is to never, ever, get drawn into explanations.  No is no.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>> In Scott's situation, it may even be that the explanation will
> have no
> >> >>>> effect at all, let alone saying, "No" or even "Not right now.."
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>> From what Scott has related, he's been willing and able to do what
> >> he's
> >> >>>> been asked, but right now he's dealing with personal issues that
> need
> >> time
> >> >>>> and clear-thinking and relief from obligations.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>> In a "normal" parish where there's great concern and care for each
> >> other,
> >> >>>> the situation would be understood, and other parish members would
> >> pitch in,
> >> >>>> with no explanation needed. But Scott's situation is challenging
> >> because it
> >> >>>> appears that neither fellow parishioners nor the Rector give much
> of
> >> a hoot
> >> >>>> about his situation.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>> This is not about burnout, or offering ones gifts as one is able.
> It's
> >> >>>> about Christian Community, or lack of it, I think.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>> Cheers,
> >> >>>> Jim Guthrie
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > --
> >> > Scott R. Knitter
> >> > Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
> >>
>
>
>
> --
> Scott R. Knitter
> Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
>