[Magdalen] This saying No is tough

[Scott Knitter]

Isn't this a lovely email for a volunteer webmaster to receive from
the paid staff member who should really be doing the work?

"Under upcoming masses, it seems you often forget to change the date
and title of the feast.  Obviously it should be September 28, The
Sixteenth …."

Wow...that's a rather sh***y tone, in my opinion. This after having
been told by my partner last night, after I offered what I thought
were constructive suggestions about a problem, "You're not helping, AT
ALL."

I guess there are days when one just gets beaten up a bit. Good thing
I'm not a sensitive type. (Is joke!)

On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 2:15 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
> Seconding what Grace said, and suggesting that you put the idea forward.
>
> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 1:33 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
>> Sounds very good, Scott, especially the plan to meet with the new rector.
>> I hope that can happen sooner rather than later.
>>
>> > On Sep 23, 2014, at 1:28 PM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>> >
>> > I really think this is getting better, and much faster with our new
>> > rector. There is caring and compassion, and a community feeling, and
>> > breakdowns in all of this, like many parishes. Long gone are the days
>> > (if there were such days...there may have been) when it was "all about
>> > the liturgy, and don't talk to me about pastoral needs." The
>> > dysfunctional attitude I run into with one person in particular is his
>> > frequent comment that "it's a new neighborhood" with the new rector
>> > and all changes are gratuitous or uninformed (because all priests
>> > should know how to do everything according to some standard that's out
>> > there that everyone just knows somehow). And I disagree with that
>> > assessment, wholeheartedly. I support the changes that Fr. Cobb has
>> > made (in liturgical matters and others) because they're well thought
>> > out and based on lots of experience.
>> >
>> > One thing that needs to happen soon is a personal meeting (over lunch
>> > or just in his office) with the rector to get to know each other
>> > better. Only so much can be discussed in quick encounters in the
>> > sacristy.
>> >
>> >> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 11:54 AM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
>> >> What Jay said.
>> >>
>> >> Molly
>> >>
>> >> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in
>> no other way. -- Mark Twain
>> >>
>> >>> On Sep 23, 2014, at 12:24 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
>> >>>
>> >>> ISTM that Jim G's assessment is accurate, and that love for ritual and
>> >>> style should not trump desire for a caring community, in the sum of
>> things.
>> >>> Scott must decide what is most important to him, and I trust that,
>> with the
>> >>> help of his therapist, he will do that.
>> >>>
>> >>>> On Tue, Sep 23, 2014 at 8:50 AM, Jim Guthrie <jguthrie at pipeline.com>
>> wrote:
>> >>>>
>> >>>> From: Susan Hagen
>> >>>>
>> >>>> It is tough but it gets much easier with practice.  The important
>> >>>>> thing is to never, ever, get drawn into explanations.  No is no.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> In Scott's situation, it may even be that the explanation will have no
>> >>>> effect at all, let alone saying, "No" or even "Not right now.."
>> >>>>
>> >>>> From what Scott has related, he's been willing and able to do what
>> he's
>> >>>> been asked, but right now he's dealing with personal issues that need
>> time
>> >>>> and clear-thinking and relief from obligations.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> In a "normal" parish where there's great concern and care for each
>> other,
>> >>>> the situation would be understood, and other parish members would
>> pitch in,
>> >>>> with no explanation needed. But Scott's situation is challenging
>> because it
>> >>>> appears that neither fellow parishioners nor the Rector give much of
>> a hoot
>> >>>> about his situation.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> This is not about burnout, or offering ones gifts as one is able. It's
>> >>>> about Christian Community, or lack of it, I think.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> Cheers,
>> >>>> Jim Guthrie
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > --
>> > Scott R. Knitter
>> > Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA
>>



-- 
Scott R. Knitter
Edgewater, Chicago, Illinois USA