[Magdalen] Tickle Box Repair, Jon-style

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

If you think think our government is too strict with theft,

you should see the way the Saudis handle that problem,"

said Tom offhandedly.

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

On Thu, Apr 23, 2015 at 7:44 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:

> Q: Why do announcers always have small hands?
>
>
> [scroll
>
> down]
>
>
>
>
>
> A:  "Wee paws" for station identification.
>
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>
> On Thu, Apr 23, 2015 at 5:16 PM, Jon Egger <revegger at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Loved it Jim!  Keep em coming!
>>
>> +++
>> Grace & peace,
>> Deacon Jon Egger
>>
>>
>>
>> *“In every age it has been the tyrant, the oppressor and the exploiter who
>> has wrapped himself in the cloak of patriotism, or religion, or both to
>> deceive and overawe the People."(Eugene V. Debs, Anti-War Speech, June 16,
>> 1918) *
>>
>>
>> On Wed, Apr 22, 2015 at 9:39 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>> > Funny timing!  At the grocery today I saw a woman in the produce aile
>> who
>> > was intrigued by the pile of terrific-looking artichokes.  She read the
>> > sign and asked me what you do with them. They really are formidable
>> > looking, and these were especially beautiful looking.  So I explained
>> how I
>> > cook them, which is just to boil or steam them and just pull of he
>> leaves
>> > one by one and dip them in melted butter.  She seemed intrigued, but
>> > dubious.  I suggested she try a can of artichoke hearts to see if she
>> liked
>> > those.  She had also never seen or eaten Swiss chard, which was a little
>> > ways down from the artichokes.  I told her you cook it just like other
>> > greens. She said she loves greens.  Don't know if she bought any of
>> that...
>> >
>> > On Wed, Apr 22, 2015 at 6:18 PM, Jim Guthrie <jguthrie at pipeline.com>
>> > wrote:
>> >
>> > >
>> > > Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
>> young
>> > > husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance
>> > > policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then
>> arranging
>> > to
>> > > have her killed.
>> > >
>> > > A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
>> > > underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to
>> the
>> > > husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.The
>> > > husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't
>> have
>> > > any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
>> Artie
>> > > insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
>> his
>> > > wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie
>> > sighed,
>> > > rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down
>> > payment
>> > > for the dirty deed.A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to
>> the
>> > > local Super Wal-Mart Store. There, he surprised her in the produce
>> > > department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the
>> poor
>> > > unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the
>> > manager
>> > > of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene.
>> > > Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no
>> choice
>> > but
>> > > to strangle the produce manager as well.However, unknown to Artie, the
>> > > entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras &
>> > observed
>> > > by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.
>> Artie
>> > was
>> > > caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.
>> > >
>> > > Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
>> whole
>> > > sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the
>> > hapless
>> > > husband, who was also quickly arrested.
>> > >
>> > > The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared..
>> > >
>> > > (Scroll Down)
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for$1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
>> > >
>> > > Oh, quit Groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my
>> warped
>> > > friend and then sent it on to my other warped friends.
>> > >
>> > > Cheers,
>> > > Jim
>> > >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > --
>> > Grace Cangialosi
>> > Ruckersville, VA
>> >
>> > Keep Calm and Carry OM.
>> >
>>
>
>