[Magdalen] Marcy Prayers

[Allan Carr]

Camille sometimes shows both clenched fists and shakes them at me or
whoever she's irritated with, as a sign of what will happen if she's pushed
too far. It's all supposed to be in fun, but I don't like it at all.

Mostly, she's easy to get along with except at restaurants where she
expects immediate service over and over again. Strange behavior for one who
used to be so patient.

As I've mentioned before, she can wake up in a delerium where she doesn't
know where she is or thinks she's in Gulfport, Mississippi, where she was
raised before high school. So far, i'm not aware of her thinking she's in
New Orleans where she went to both high school and nursing school and met
her first husband.

Each of Camille's kids has individually told me that they will understand
whatever I choose to do. I think they have discussed us at length through
several scenarios they're not willing to outline. I wonder what they are.

I do get tired of it all, my need for a walker and Camille's dementia. I've
discovered I like to go to a slightly high end bar all by myself and have
developed a taste for Johnny Walker Black bare.

I suppose I may be headed toward AA, but honestly I no longer believe in
higher powers so I don't know how that would go.



On Thursday, August 20, 2015, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:

> It is utterly unimaginable the torment she is going through 24/7 with this
> horrid disease that will surely kill her by degrees.
>
> I suspect your assessment is very likely on the money too.  Dementia is a
> part of the horror.
>
> Sometimes, life really, really sucks, and when it does, trying to sugar
> coat is just wrong.
>
> I am very very sorry to read that she said that, but I think it is also
> probably true that was not actually Marcy talking.
>
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>
> On Thu, Aug 20, 2015 at 10:51 PM, James Handsfield <jhandsfield at att.net
> <javascript:;>>
> wrote:
>
> > We had a blow up tonight - we have a new aide and Marcy teed off on her.
> > I called her on the way she was treating people.  I need to say that I’ve
> > become convinced that Marcy is becoming demented along with her ALS.
> >
> > I won’t go into details, but at one point Marcy said she didn’t want me
> as
> > her husband any more.  I felt cut to the core and I feel devastated.
> >
> > I won’t give up on her care, but I don’t know if I can ever recover from
> > this.
> >
> > Please pray.
> >
> > “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the
> > world.” — Nelson Mandela
> >
> > Jim Handsfield
> > jhandsfield at att.net <javascript:;>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>


-- 
Allan Carr