[Magdalen] Marcy update

[Georgia DuBose]

Dear Jim,

As I think I may have mentioned to you before, my dear friend and
colleague, Rick Rutledge, with whom I studied for the priesthood, died in
2014 of ALS. Everyone deals with this miserable disease differently, and
Rick was heroic. However, when he and Kathy knew what they were dealing
with, they agreed that he would go to an excellent extended care facility
when his incapacity became severe. That's what happened.

Perhaps you and Marcy never made such an agreement. It sounds to me, having
had way more experience up close with ALS than anyone wants to have--my
friend Clare Hawkins' husband Robert also died of ALS--that it is time for
Marcy to be cared for professionally 24-7. You will be no good to her if
you are so frayed that you fall apart.

You can tell me to go to hell if you want to, and that it is none of my
business. That may clarify for you what you want to do further--if you
think Marcy should be at home, and you can manage that. However, if you
want "permission" to have Marcy cared for in a facility, consider this your
"slip." Clare also had Robert in an extended care facility, and that made
it possible for her to carry on with being with him until the end. (She was
very fragile during his illness, and finally recognized that she needed
more than temporary respite.) Both Kathy and Clare found the nights the
hardest, and knowing that their guys were being taken care of at night by
people who had the necessary equipment to help them in every possible way
was a great relief.

You are in my prayers all the time. I am sorrier than I can possibly say at
this wretched turn of events. Please, do whatever you need to do to take
care of your needs as well as Marcy's, knowing that those who love both of
you will support the course you take.

With love and concern,

Georgia+

On Tue, Dec 1, 2015 at 8:30 PM, AT&T <jhandsfield at att.net> wrote:

> Tonight, Marcy decided she would get up without assistance. I retrieved a
> cane she wanted. After ten months she gave up (TBTG).  She seems to be in
> denial that she can't do the things she wants to do. I'm near the end of my
> rope.
>
> Jim Handsfield
> Sent from my iPhone