[Magdalen] Advice for folks headed for geriatricity

[Jay Weigel]

A lovely lady in my parents' parish, who lived to be 105, was interviewed
on tv on the occasion of her 104th birthday and asked to what she
attributed her longevity. She looked at the reporter with some amusement
and said, "I just didn't die!"

On Sat, Jul 4, 2015 at 1:32 AM, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
wrote:

> Reporter to centenarian: To what do you attribute your being 100 years old
> today?
> Centenarian: To the fact that I was born on this date in 1915.
> On Jul 3, 2015 9:11 PM, "James Oppenheimer-Crawford" <
> oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
> > elderly widow and asked,
> > 'How old was your husband?'
> > '98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
> > 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
> > She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
> >
> >
> > Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
> > 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter
> > asked.
> > She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
> >
> >
> > The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
> >
> >
> > I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
> > So I got my doctor's permission to
> > join a fitness club and start exercising.
> > I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors
> > I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
> > But by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.
> >
> >
> > My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
> > as it used to be.
> >
> >
> > Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
> >
> > It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
> >
> > James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> > *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> > except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
> >
>