[Magdalen] Advice for folks headed for geriatricity

[Scott Knitter]

Reporter to centenarian: To what do you attribute your being 100 years old
today?
Centenarian: To the fact that I was born on this date in 1915.
On Jul 3, 2015 9:11 PM, "James Oppenheimer-Crawford" <
oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:

> Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
> elderly widow and asked,
> 'How old was your husband?'
> '98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
> 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
> She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
>
>
> Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
> 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter
> asked.
> She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
>
>
> The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
>
>
> I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
> So I got my doctor's permission to
> join a fitness club and start exercising.
> I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors
> I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
> But by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.
>
>
> My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
> as it used to be.
>
>
> Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
>
> It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
>
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>