[Magdalen] Short-term prayers, please

[Georgia DuBose]

Dear Grace,

Your well-being is very important, and I hope you receive the guidance
of the Holy Spirit about the best approach. Please know that you are
in my prayers, and I hope you are taking good care of yourself in a
difficult situation. I send you all good wishes.

Georgia+

P.S. Donna, the lay worship leader from Boonesville, worshipped at our
Tuesday Morning Prayer service about a month ago, visiting her MIL,
Penny Maciolek, here. She tells me she is in discernment about a call
to the priesthood.

On Wed, Jul 29, 2015 at 12:41 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com> wrote:
> Without going into the very long, sad history, I'm asking your prayers for
> what will probably seem like something totally insignificant.
>
> Periodically my son subjects me to verbal or written diatribes, sometimes
> cutting me off from seeing his children, sometimes not.  They always seem
> to come out of left field.  This time I had responded to an article he
> forwarded to me, agreeing with much of it, which I thought would surprise
> him, and thinking it might be the opening for a real conversation. Instead,
> I got back a long, long attack, really hateful and verbally abusive. I read
> just enough to see what was there and then deleted it. Went back later and
> emptied it from the trash, so I wouldn't be tempted to read the whole thing
> and spend the next three days beating myself up and wondering what I've
> done wrong. (Which, of course, I've been doing anyway...)
>
>  Anyway--sorry this is so long--I carefully wrote a response, saying I was
> sorry that he had felt the need to respond that way, that I had deleted his
> message without reading most of it, because I didn't need that verbal
> abuse. ( I had seen that he was heading into a place I've seen
> before...insisting that we are all depraved and evil at heart, but my pride
> won't let me see that, even though Scripture is clear on that. There was
> something to the effect that I put on this show so that people will
> think I'm a good person, etc.) I stopped reading there.
>
>  I told him it saddens me that that's so much of his theology, that Paul
> really needs to be read through the lens of the Gospels and Jesus'
> reflection of God as a God of love. And also that God created the world and
> saw that it was good. I ended by saying that I would continue to pray that
> he will find that God of love and know that he is loved by God.  And after
> much consideration, I went ahead and signed it Love, Mom.
>
> Now I see that I have a reply from him that starts out "I hope you won't
> delete this before reading it...,"  but I haven't opened it yet.  I'm
> tempted to just write back and say that I haven't read it yet because I'm
> not ready to read it, but that I  haven't deleted it yet, either.  Maybe
> that would be the way to go?
>
> I also thought about forwarding it to my daughter without reading it and
> asking her to tell me whether to read it or not, but that seems the
> cowardly way to go.  She's aware of the situation, though I didn't share
> the other email with her. She pretty much keeps her distance from him most
> of the time. Her take is that he finds it easier to take his anger out on
> me than to actually deal with the things he doesn't like about himself and
> the choices he's made.  In my head I know that's probably true, and that's
> what I would say to someone else in this situation, but it's hard not to
> get hooked by this when it happens.
>
> Anyway, what I need is some clarity about the "right" thing to do now.
> Delete without reading? Tell him I still have it, but am not ready to read
> it yet?  Just grit my teeth and read it? What I feel when I contemplate
> that last alternative is fear about what I'll find...and that is, on one
> level, totally ridiculous, I know. Whatever is there is already there,
> whether I read it or not.  And it couldn't possibly be any worse than
> things I've already had to take from him. It's not the different ideas I
> have a problem with, it's the personal attacks. And I've really worked hard
> over the years to keep the door open to relationships with the children.
> There have been two different times when he barred me from seeing them for
> several months, but then it's like he kind of forgets, and they'll invite
> me to do something.  I don't know if my daughter-in-law is aware of all of
> this, but I've never said anything to her. She has to do exactly what he
> says, and I don't need to add to her worries.
>
> Sorry...I really didn't mean to go on so long. But prayers for clarity
> would be welcome.
>
> Grace
>
> --
> Grace Cangialosi
> Ruckersville, VA
>
> Keep Calm and Carry OM.