[Magdalen] 'Adult Child recovery' commentary and info... (was the beleaguered: Re: Heather Cook

Jay Weigel jay.weigel at gmail.com
Fri Nov 6 20:54:59 UTC 2015


I'm trying to nudge my daughter towards *something* because she really
seems to have some serious problems from growing up with her dad. She, more
than the boys, became his target in later years, I've found out. Maybe
because I left. Her husband is also the child of an alcoholic but his
mother left his dad when he was 12 and he had no contact with him after
that.

On Fri, Nov 6, 2015 at 3:12 PM, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com> wrote:

> A note about the 'adult children' recovery programs. I was just recently
> made aware that there are 2 programs that seem to be outgrowths of AA but
> actually are more nuanced. The Group that uses the 'big red book' is called
> ACA officially and is not considered part of the AA lineage by the parent
> organization. ACOA is part of the AA lineage and uses books and materials
> 'approved' (as is said) by the larger parent organization. The 'Big Red
> Book with ACA on the cover is not considered program-approved under the AA
> umbrella of recovery groups.  ACA was formed before AA had a group for
> 'adult children' by people in their 20s who had outgrown Alateen and were
> seeking for more.  This movement started in the 1970s out on the west coast.
>
> I of course have an opinion about this <huge GDR> and would be  happy to
> share privately if you want to know my own experience. Not negative, just
> informative and nuanced.
>
> Lynn
>
> website: www.ichthysdesigns.com
>
> When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I have not
> a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything You gave me."
> attributed to Erma Bombeck
> "Either Freedom for all or stop talking about Freedom at all" from a talk
> by Richard Rohr
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Ann Markle" <ann.markle at aya.yale.edu>
> Sent: Friday, November 06, 2015 1:51 PM
> To: <magdalen at herberthouse.org>
> Subject: Re: [Magdalen] Heather Cook
>
> Yes, here, too, Jay (ACOA rather than ACA), and is often called the word:
>> acoa (uh-koh-uh) by members here.
>>
>> Ann
>>
>> The Rev. Ann Markle
>> Buffalo, NY
>> ann.markle at aya.yale.edu
>> blog:  www.onewildandpreciouslife.typepad.com
>>
>> On Wed, Nov 4, 2015 at 9:46 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> ACA was referred to as ACOA where I was, and may be in other areas too.
>>>
>>> On Wed, Nov 4, 2015 at 9:38 PM, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> > A note on the variety of recovery programs related to alcohol... Alanon
>>> is
>>> > for friends/family of an alcoholic, Alateen, is for the children of an
>>> > alcoholic, ACA is for people who grew up in an alcoholic family but may
>>> > have not identified problems with themselves being related to alcohol
>>> until
>>> > they were adults.. note this group also includes people who grew up in
>>> > dysfunctional families, and often includes alcoholics who have gained
>>> some
>>> > significant recovery.
>>> >
>>> > Important news for those who may not be aware of the role of these
>>> > ancillary groups, for people whose lives were/are touched by alcohol,
>>> > is
>>> > that these groups are all about the individual themselves, attending >
>>> the
>>> > group, NOT the alcoholic in their life, earlier life, or former life.
>>> They
>>> > are not in their group to help, cure or fix the person who drinks  and
>>> who
>>> > may be the reason they decided to seek out a solution in one of these
>>> > programs.
>>> >
>>> > It is also important to realize that groups are self-run and each group
>>> is
>>> > only as healthy as the people in it trying to become healthy, hopefully
>>> > with a history of some old timers who pass it on/down. Each member
>>> strives
>>> > for honesty about themselves in order to begin to unravel their own
>>> issues
>>> > and begin to change their life.
>>> >
>>> > Lynn
>>> >
>>> >
>>> > website: www.ichthysdesigns.com
>>> >
>>> > When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I have
>>> not
>>> > a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything You gave
>>> me."
>>> > attributed to Erma Bombeck
>>> > "Either Freedom for all or stop talking about Freedom at all" from a >
>>> talk
>>> > by Richard Rohr
>>> >
>>> > --------------------------------------------------
>>> > From: "Jay Weigel" <jay.weigel at gmail.com>
>>> > Sent: Wednesday, November 04, 2015 5:42 PM
>>> > To: <magdalen at herberthouse.org>
>>> > Subject: Re: [Magdalen] Heather Cook
>>> >
>>> > Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic, Don, therefore not everyone
>>> needs
>>> >> a recovery organization. However, if one's partner drinks abusively,
>>> >> it
>>> >> does affect one. And that's all I have to say on the matter.
>>> >>
>>> >> On Wed, Nov 4, 2015 at 6:37 PM, <thedonboyd at austin.rr.com> wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >> I hear good things about Rational Recovery and about SMART recovery.
>>> >>> Janice certainly finds Women for Sobriety (the org that Jean
>>> Kirkpatrick
>>> >>> founded) excellent for her needs.  I stopped drinking when Janice
>>> >>> went
>>> >>> into
>>> >>> rehab, but have not gotten involved with any recovery organization.
>>> (save
>>> >>> that J and I are such an organization in our own small way).
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>> >>>
>>>
>>>


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