[Magdalen] When you come to a fork in the road take it

[Jay Weigel]

There comes a time when you have stood fast just as long as you can and you
can't any more. Others may be able to. This happened to me along about
1997. Other folks stuck it out. I couldn't deal with it any more and took
an opportunity that was offered me to leave. Had it been solely up to me I
might have left sooner, but at that time I was married. My late ex went
with me, although he was not as tired of it all as I was--but then, he
wasn't getting all the flak.

On Sunday, November 8, 2015, <thedonboyd at austin.rr.com> wrote:

> Marion, if (as the PiC apparently believes) you are part of a diminishing
> A-C remnant in a parish that is already moving toward the more Protestant
> end of the liturgical spectrum, it does make sense for you to slip away
> quietly.  But I wonder whether either of the other parishes you mention as
> accessible will meet your worship needs any better?  I suspect that as a
> newcomer you might not be as actively involved in leading worship there.
>      The larger question, asked in light of knowing that ANY change will
> cause some people to leave, is "who is the parish willing to lose in the
> interest of unity among those who remain?"  I would not have thought it
> proper for an interim priest to implement such a change process unless (a)
> he expects to become the rector or (b) the bishop has instructed to
> initiate the change so the new rector won't have to.
>      Conflict, whether in congregations or in families, can be ruinous, or
> it can be an occasion for growth.  It is in my observation rarely painless.
>      I am sorry for the heartache you are obviously experiencing.  May our
> Lord give you strength and comfort.  (the) Don
> ---- Marion Thompson <marionwhitevale at gmail.com <javascript:;>> wrote:
> > In his second month (August) after weeks of rewiting, he gave me a
> > template.  I followed it  and he still rewrote the end product.  So I
> > have simply reverted to my normal style that touches on the five
> > categories without bias.  Sure I'm being resistant, but.  He wants all
> > things short to non-existent; if Mass finished in 30 minutes he would be
> > thrilled!  Watch him drum his fingers if those bringing up the elements
> > are slow off the mark.  He routinely demotes our remembrance of the BVM
> > and St. Peter our Patron, to Mary and Peter. And I always restore their
> > proper honourific when I'm the intercessor.  It's a mess and it's easier
> > for me just to leave.  He surely won't suddenly become A-C and I'm no
> > Protestant.   He has moved the lectern to the crossing in our little
> > place, he conducts the Liturgy of the Word from the Rector's desk and
> > expects the sub-deacon and deacon to sit in the choir with him until the
> > Peace. These last two roles he has rendered redundant because he does
> > everything himself now and we stand around, useless as tits on a bull,
> > as one might delicately put it.    But he has changed nothing!  Ach, I
> > could go on.
> >
> > Marion, a pilgrim
> >
> > On 11/8/2015 6:40 PM, Scott Knitter wrote:
> > > On Sun, Nov 8, 2015 at 5:00 PM, Marion Thompson
> > > <marionwhitevale at gmail.com <javascript:;>> wrote:
> > >> Thanks, Jay.  I'm feeling pretty low.  It probably weighs a lot more
> on me
> > >> than him, but it's the place I've called home for seven years.  He
> holds
> > >> that the form of the liturgy has caused people to leave,  "people have
> > >> said".  Well, let them be named.  " I haven't changed anything", he
> says.
> > > {{{Marion}}}
> > >
> > > That "People have said" stuff is the pits...we've had lots of that in
> > > our parish's recent snarls.
> > >
> > > You've been patient long enough with this, and it sounds like you were
> > > quite justified to let your views be known in clear terms to your PIC.
> > > How hard would it be for him to just say what he wants you to do
> > > regarding the PoP? "I'd like them to be similar in length and style to
> > > the following example..." or "I'd really like to write them myself."
> > > Whatever is behind his rewriting. Here's hoping the bishop can help
> > > with an insightful suggestion or resolution. You don't need the PIC
> > > wasting your time as he has been.
> > >
> >
>
>