[Magdalen] More with Marcy

[Judy Fleener]

All I have to offer is prayer.
Judy

On Sun, Sep 6, 2015 at 2:27 AM, Sally Davies <sally.davies at gmail.com> wrote:

> Prayers as always, Jim. You and Marcy are often in my thoughts.
>
> As to not being able to do anything about the dementia, it might still be
> worth contacting the ALS multidisciplinary clinic if you are associated
> with one. There is new knowledge and research on the overlap between ALS
> and Fronto-Temporal dementia (differrent to Alzheimer's in several
> important ways), and expert advice is always of value even if only to give
> you some ideas for new ways to think about/cope with what's going on with
> Marcy and what she might be experiencing.
>
> Unless she's had a stroke along the way (which might not be impossible?)I
> would guess that this latest 'reality interface malfunction' is part of a
> more general loss of insight as neural circuits break down, sometimes
> reconnecting weirdly and other times going silent.
>
> And maybe loss of insight, for the person concerned, is not such a terrible
> thing. If it were me, I would rather be thinking "I can help Jim with the
> cooking" than "I will never cook again".
>
> Jo, thanks for sharing that snippet of memory from the weary days of
> caregiving with your Mom. I hadn't thought about the "bittersweet" moments,
> but will file that away, if I may, as something to enquire about when
> people are strugging with caegiving or are going through bereavement.
>
> I've seen many reactions to the dementia of a loved one, from total
> distancing to 100% involvement. The latter takes immense strength and
> determination but I cannot believe that the people who take that "road less
> travelled" are ever likely to regret it. My beloved friend Jenny in the UK
> was nearly wiped out by her commitment to herr Mom (blind and suffering
> dementia) but she saw it through and the "peace dividend" in her life now
> is a joy to behold. Like you, Jenny tried to take breaks when she could and
> it made a big difference, keeping exhaustion from running all of her plans
> and strategies and emotions.
>
> Sally
>
> On Sunday, September 6, 2015, Jo Craddock <jocraddock at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','jocraddock at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
> > This behavior so reminds me of some exhibited by my mother as her cancer
> > metastasized. I found if I could be kindly honest, rather than brutally
> > honest, it often helped both of us deal with each particular situation.
> > "Wouldn't that be nice? I wish you could do that, too." Of course, I was
> > not always up to that, nor was she always open to it. Take a nap,
> yourself,
> > while she naps, if at all possible.
> >
> > Some of those times are now etched in our household collective memory as
> > sweet incidents of the spirit being willing, but the flesh weak. "Yes,
> > mother; why don't you cook tonight?" and talking through it with her as I
> > prepared dinner, has become a euphemism for someone suggesting a project
> > that another has to complete. And, we can smile with the remembrance.
> >
> > With prayer for
> >
> > Peace,
> > Jo
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > On 09/05/2015 8:28 PM, James Handsfield wrote:
> >
> >> Yes, I have.  The problem is that there really is nothing to gain by a
> >> specific diagnosis of dementia as it won’t change the course of Marcy’s
> >> disease or the way we deal with it.
> >>
> >> This is known as Frustration.
> >>
> >>
> >
>



-- 
Judy Fleener, ObJN
Western Michigan