[Magdalen] puns

[James Oppenheimer-Crawford]

When the firefly backed into the fan, it was delighted no end.

When the lady backed into the fan, disaster.

Then there was the optician who fell into his lens grinder and made a
spectacle of himself.

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

On Thu, Aug 4, 2016 at 8:14 AM, Jon Egger <revegger at gmail.com> wrote:

> 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.   He
> acquired his size from too much pi.
>
> 2. I thought I observed an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.  Turned out to
> be an optical Aleutian.
>
> 3. She was only a lowly bootlegger, but he loved her still.
>
> 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class.  The reason:
> it was a weapon of math disruption.
>
> 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
>
> 6. A dog gave birth to puppies beside a road and was cited for littering.
>
> 7. A grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
>
> 8. Two silk worms were in a race.  They ended up in a tie.
>
> 9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking
> into it.
>
>  10. Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like bananas.
>
> 11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>
> 12. Two hats were on a hat rack.   One said to the other: "You stay here.
> I'll go on a head."
>
> 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.
>
> 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:  "Keep off the Grass".
>
> 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
> large.
>
> 16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
> veteran.
>
> 17. A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> 18. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it's your
> count that votes.
>
> 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got their first taste of
> religion.
>
>
>  20. If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
>
> 21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boarded an airplane.   The
> stewardess told him, "I'm sorry, sir! Only one carrion allowed per
> passenger."
>
> 22. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
> craft.  Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
> kayak and heat it too.
>
> 23. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, "I've lost my electron".  The other
> says  "Are you sure?"  The first replied, "Yes, I'm positive."
>
> 24. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
> canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
>
> 25. And at last ...There was the person who sent ten puns to their friends
> with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun
> in ten did.
>
> --
> If no one has told you that they love you today,
> let me be the first.
> brud
>