[Magdalen] puns

[Lynn Ronkainen]

A favorite of mine!!
Lynn



www.ichthysdesigns.com

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'. attributed to Erma Bombeck


On Aug 5, 2016, at 1:33 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:

not a pun, but I kinda like it.....


"You may touch the dust, but please do not write in it."

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

> On Thu, Aug 4, 2016 at 8:14 AM, Jon Egger <revegger at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.   He
> acquired his size from too much pi.
> 
> 2. I thought I observed an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.  Turned out to
> be an optical Aleutian.
> 
> 3. She was only a lowly bootlegger, but he loved her still.
> 
> 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class.  The reason:
> it was a weapon of math disruption.
> 
> 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
> 
> 6. A dog gave birth to puppies beside a road and was cited for littering.
> 
> 7. A grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
> 
> 8. Two silk worms were in a race.  They ended up in a tie.
> 
> 9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking
> into it.
> 
> 10. Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like bananas.
> 
> 11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
> 
> 12. Two hats were on a hat rack.   One said to the other: "You stay here.
> I'll go on a head."
> 
> 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.
> 
> 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:  "Keep off the Grass".
> 
> 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
> large.
> 
> 16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
> veteran.
> 
> 17. A backward poet writes inverse.
> 
> 18. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism, it's your
> count that votes.
> 
> 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got their first taste of
> religion.
> 
> 
> 20. If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
> 
> 21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boarded an airplane.   The
> stewardess told him, "I'm sorry, sir! Only one carrion allowed per
> passenger."
> 
> 22. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
> craft.  Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
> kayak and heat it too.
> 
> 23. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, "I've lost my electron".  The other
> says  "Are you sure?"  The first replied, "Yes, I'm positive."
> 
> 24. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
> canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
> 
> 25. And at last ...There was the person who sent ten puns to their friends
> with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun
> in ten did.
> 
> --
> If no one has told you that they love you today,
> let me be the first.
> brud
>