[Magdalen] Happy 2016

[Jay Weigel]

Most excellent advice, Sista Molly!

On Fri, Jan 1, 2016 at 12:53 PM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:

> My experience is that the sequence "no--no--no--well, okay, I guess" gets
> set in concrete as "if I nag, whine, weep, sulk, or do baby-fawn-eyes, I'll
> get what I want."  It's a great way of teaching a dog or cat to beg
> incessantly.
>
> Never back down after saying "no", and if that leaves the Party of the
> Second Part spinning in the breeze, that's the PotSP's problem.
>
> N-o.  N-o.  Repeat as often as necessary.  Do NOT back down.
>
> Seriously.
>
> Molly
>
> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no
> other way. -- Mark Twain
>
> > On Jan 1, 2016, at 9:19 AM, Sally Davies <sally.davies at gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > Shielding you from anxiety?!
> >
> > Just as well I'm a few thousand miles away Scott, or I might just give
> him
> > a smack for pulling that stunt. Or what about putting a balloon full of
> > cold water on a door, letting it fall on him as he comes through it, and
> > then suggesting he might thank you for shielding him from anxiety, by not
> > telling him about it?
> >
> > Bah. I hope that now that's over, you're getting some needed down time to
> > recover.
> >
> > Sally D
> >
> >> On Friday, January 1, 2016, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> >>
> >> Ginga, well done with the honest opt-out! I've reminded my dearest that
> I
> >> need to know plans to host people and need a chance to prepare or opt
> out.
> >> He feels he's shielding me from anxiety. I told him this made it a
> painful
> >> day for me...actually much more anxiety. Yes, I stepped up and was
> >> welcoming (nothing is the guest's fault, after all) but didn't know it
> was
> >> an overnight stay. Another tidbit I needed shielding from, I guess.
> >>
> >> The saying of No does need practice but it also needs to be an option in
> >> the first place.
> >>
> >> Sent from my iPad
> >>
> >>> On Dec 31, 2015, at 7:46 PM, Ginga Wilder <gingawilder at gmail.com
> >> <javascript:;>> wrote:
> >>>
> >>> John and I don't party much any longer, by our choice.  I gave up many
> of
> >>> the 'shoulds' in my life years ago...it is much better that way.  And,
> I
> >> am
> >>> a nicer person.  Scott, take the risk to express your wishes and follow
> >>> them through.  Love you!
> >>
>