[Magdalen] Happy 2016

[Lynn Ronkainen]

Shielding from anxiety? Feels passive aggressive to me. I have learned through pain and sorrow not to let others - even and sometimes especially loved ones - define my feelings for/to me. 
Difficult situations for sure. 
Lynn

Sent from my iPhone

On Jan 1, 2016, at 11:53 AM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:

My experience is that the sequence "no--no--no--well, okay, I guess" gets set in concrete as "if I nag, whine, weep, sulk, or do baby-fawn-eyes, I'll get what I want."  It's a great way of teaching a dog or cat to beg incessantly. 

Never back down after saying "no", and if that leaves the Party of the Second Part spinning in the breeze, that's the PotSP's problem.

N-o.  N-o.  Repeat as often as necessary.  Do NOT back down.  

Seriously.

Molly

The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. -- Mark Twain

> On Jan 1, 2016, at 9:19 AM, Sally Davies <sally.davies at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Shielding you from anxiety?!
> 
> Just as well I'm a few thousand miles away Scott, or I might just give him
> a smack for pulling that stunt. Or what about putting a balloon full of
> cold water on a door, letting it fall on him as he comes through it, and
> then suggesting he might thank you for shielding him from anxiety, by not
> telling him about it?
> 
> Bah. I hope that now that's over, you're getting some needed down time to
> recover.
> 
> Sally D
> 
>> On Friday, January 1, 2016, Scott Knitter <scottknitter at gmail.com> wrote:
>> 
>> Ginga, well done with the honest opt-out! I've reminded my dearest that I
>> need to know plans to host people and need a chance to prepare or opt out.
>> He feels he's shielding me from anxiety. I told him this made it a painful
>> day for me...actually much more anxiety. Yes, I stepped up and was
>> welcoming (nothing is the guest's fault, after all) but didn't know it was
>> an overnight stay. Another tidbit I needed shielding from, I guess.
>> 
>> The saying of No does need practice but it also needs to be an option in
>> the first place.
>> 
>> Sent from my iPad
>> 
>>>> On Dec 31, 2015, at 7:46 PM, Ginga Wilder <gingawilder at gmail.com
>>> <javascript:;>> wrote:
>>> 
>>> John and I don't party much any longer, by our choice.  I gave up many of
>>> the 'shoulds' in my life years ago...it is much better that way.  And, I
>> am
>>> a nicer person.  Scott, take the risk to express your wishes and follow
>>> them through.  Love you!
>>