[Magdalen] Texting?

[Marion Thompson]

Our best communication was daily letters when we were miles apart (a 
year in the early days).  Under the same roof simply didn't work for 
whatever reason.  He couldn't say and I couldn't say. Outside the moment 
when I was told we were over and he'd bought a house elsewhere, we 
discussed nothing meaningful, not before that nor in the four years 
since.  Paradoxically we're on good terms at our usual arm's length.  
All unpleasantness at that time was expressed to our lawyers, not to 
each other, and so we were able to continue in that as before and 
continue to do so.  He is in England at the moment and I went to get 
more boxes of my books out of his shed and watered his plants and 
reported back that all was well with his house.  It's unfathomable to 
many, but it's a better way to be.  Sometimes breaks my heart, but there 
you go.  Talk about avoidance, eh?

I salute those who find a positive way, their positive way, through the 
maze!

Marion, a pilgrim


On 7/20/2016 3:35 PM, Kristin Rollins wrote:
> I'll take a slightly contrarian view here. One size does not fit all.
> For Heather and I, many of our most important conversations need to
> start in a text format. Otherwise, we sometimes are so afraid of saying
> the wrong thing that we can't get what needs to be said out. We're
> intentional about it, and 99% of the time, we do it while we are both in
> the same room, which helps with taking the emotional temperature and
> clarifying misunderstandings before they become too large.
>
> And, at some point, we will have relaxed and can begin to communicate
> with our voices. I don't know how much of this is who she and I are, or
> how much of this was the months of long-distance communication we
> shared, but text communication seems to be the best way we have found to
> begin those conversations with each other that risk becoming more
> emotional than productive.
>
> Kristin
>