[Magdalen] Fwd: They will be staying....

[Ginga Wilder]

What adorable children.  Your family and these boys are in my prayers that
Love will prevail for all of them.

Ginga

On Fri, May 13, 2016 at 9:23 PM, Judy Fleener <fleenerj at gmail.com> wrote:

> I pray that this works for yoour son and d-i-l, Grace.  It will be good for
> the children, no matter what.
>
> On Thu, May 12, 2016 at 11:54 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > I finally got to look at the video. They are very cute little boys.
> > Foster-to-adopt is the main way, other than private open adoptions, that
> > children are adopted these days in the US. And it's a basic truth that
> > almost *any* child in foster care is going to have emotional issues. I
> > mean, how not? They've been pulled out of what was probably an unstable
> > situation (which may or may not have been loving), and some have then
> been
> > bounced from one foster home to another...and some of those are loving,
> but
> > others are real horror shows. The best thing for these little guys is
> that
> > they're very young, and with love and stability they can overcome a lot.
> > Having an older brother who's also adopted may be helpful for them as
> they
> > grow up. I know you aren't in tune with Paul and Mary Kim's lifestyle,
> but
> > it actually may be rather beneficial, at least now, for the boys. And, as
> > others have said, the best thing we can do is support our kids'
> decisions,
> > (so long as they're not actually dangerous).
> >
> >
> >
> > On Tuesday, May 10, 2016, Roger Stokes <roger.stokes65 at btinternet.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > On 10/05/2016 21:50, Grace Cangialosi wrote:
> > >
> > >> My granddaughter made this video, and I hope you'll take a look at it.
> > >> The background is that about a year and a half ago my son and d-in-l
> > took
> > >> in two brothers who were in foster care. At the time they were 17
> months
> > >> and 3 years old. It was three weeks before my oldest granddaughter's
> > >> wedding. She wasn't happy about that, and I thought they'd lost their
> > >> minds. I also knew this was entirely my son's idea. Their youngest
> child
> > >> also came to them through foster care, and they adopted him about four
> > >> years ago.
> > >> Anyway, I'll spare you what is a very complicated 18-month saga,
> except
> > >> to say that the biological parents' parental rights were finally
> > terminated
> > >> yesterday, so Paul and Mary Kim can begin adoption proceedings.
> > >> I still don't think this is a good thing, and I've supported Mary Kim
> > >> through all of her misgivings, helped take the boys to visitation with
> > >> their parents, and now I'll bite my tongue and support this decision.
> > The
> > >> other kids all seem happy with this--as you can see in the video--so
> it
> > may
> > >> all work out for the best, but the boys have serious emotional issues
> > and
> > >> had been in one foster home before.
> > >>
> > >
> > > Love and a stable home background wgere the parents talk and take a
> > common
> > > approach will be a great help with the emotional issues. Mary Kim was
> > > probably more aware of the demands that would be made of her than Paul
> > was,
> > > hence the misgivings.  However I trust that Paul would have heard it is
> > she
> > > had said clearly "No".  At the end of the day it is their decision th
> > share
> > > their capacity to love more widely and to offer a new home to two
> > children
> > > who need it.
> > >
> > > Some years ago my son discovered that he and his wife could not have
> > > children of their own so they offered to adopt and went through all the
> > > hoops that involved, and then the waiting.  Having said they were
> willing
> > > to have two toddlers Ollie came to live with them aged 6 or 7 months in
> > > late 2013 having been takewn from his mother more or less at birth.
> > During
> > > the adoption process they were asked if they would also take his
> > biological
> > > sister when she was born so she came to them straight from the hospital
> > > just before Easter 2014 and the adoption was made final last August.
> > >
> > > That was a good day not only because it marked the official completion
> of
> > > my son's family but also because my ex and I spoke civilly to each
> other
> > > for the first time since we split.  (I was always willing to but she
> > > wasn't.)  Much to my surprise this undemonstrative loner has developed
> a
> > > deep affection for his grandchildren who now have the prospect of a far
> > > better start in life than would have been the case.  That is what
> matters
> > > to me and I draw attention to one word in Grace's second paragraph
> which
> > > illustrates my feelings.  Years ago legislation changed terminology in
> > > response to care of children.  The important words were parental
> > > responsibility, not rights.  As adults our responsibility is to care
> for
> > > children, not to claim them as property to have custody of.
> > >
> > > May this newly extended family learn to live and love into that
> reality.
> > >
> > > Roger
> > >
> >
>
>
>
> --
> Judy Fleener, ObJN
> Western Michigan
>