[Magdalen] funeral planning

[Jay Weigel]

My brothers and I had to plan our parents' funerals. Both were Rite II, no
Eucharist. Dad's I would describe as somewhat upright and sturdy, as
befitted a former naval officer who had become a university professor and
became an Episcopalian late in life, after a long spell as an agnostic,
when he came to the conclusion that all the questions he'd had "really
didn't matter". We sang nice sturdy hymns that he loved, too..."Love
Divine" and his favorite, "Immortal, Invisible", which he'd been taught in
the Navy by his chaplain, Sam Wylie, who was then a Presbyterian but would
later become an Episcopalian and eventually Bishop of Northern Michigan.
Also, of course, the Navy Hymn. My mom's, on the other hand, was mostly
very gentle and joyful, with hymns she loved and had sung to us as
children: "Fairest Lord Jesus", "Amazing Grace", and "Lord of All
Hopefulness, Lord of All Joy". But one thing we had all agreed on that we
remembered her singing best was the lullaby "All Through the Night". I know
there's a hymn to that tune, but I don't care for the words and neither did
one of my brothers, so we asked if it could be played or sung before the
service. As it turned out, the organist found a choir member with a
beautiful soprano voice who was free that afternoon, and she sang the
lullaby before the service. As the postlude, I asked the organist to play
my mother's favorite Easter hymn, "Welcome, Happy Morning" with all the
stops out. I'm pretty sure she would have liked that.

On Wed, May 25, 2016 at 5:18 PM, Ginga Wilder <gingawilder at gmail.com
<javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','gingawilder at gmail.com');>> wrote:

> Let me explain further.  My mother insisted that she would have her service
> from 1928 Book of Common Prayer.  Our diocese did not smile on use of the
> 28 book.  So, our rector used the Rite I funeral liturgy with lots of
> prayers from the 28 book.  My sisters and I substituted the first prayer in
> the Rite I service with the third option from Rite II..."O God of grace and
> glory..."
>
> Beautiful liturgy.  Mama would have been pleased.
>
> Ginga
>
> On Wed, May 25, 2016 at 5:04 PM, Ginga Wilder <gingawilder at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','gingawilder at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
> > Jon, I believe each of us gets to plan our own funeral, if we want to do
> > that.  In so doing, we have an opportunity to think about our faith and
> > craft a worship service that expresses our heart.   I believe the
> planning
> > process is a very good thing.  Can you speak with the clergy person who
> > will do your service and give your order of service to that person for
> safe
> > keeping?   Your family may plan something they want, but you will have
> > taken the opportuntiy to care for yourself in this way.
> >
> > I love you, Brud.
> > Ginga
> >
> > On Wed, May 25, 2016 at 4:00 PM, Esther Williamson <momohl1 at cox.net
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','momohl1 at cox.net');>>
> > wrote:
> >
> >> My Priest encourages us to file a copy of our funeral wishes with her.
> >> She uses that copy when she meets with the family. Tell those who
> disagree
> >> with your plans that they can do what they want later as a memorial
> service
> >> but that you intend to have your Rite II with no Eucharist and then give
> >> your plans to someone you trust to see it carried out.
> >>
> >> Esther
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> On 5/25/2016 3:01 PM, Jon Egger wrote:
> >>
> >>> Listmates,
> >>>
> >>> I am seriously working on my funeral plan.  All I want is a simple Rite
> >>> II
> >>> burial office.  No Eucharist.
> >>>
> >>> Some in my family are blocking my wishes by saying that 'funerals are
> for
> >>> the living, not the dead.'
> >>>
> >>> This isn't easy. Thanks for letting me vent.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>
> >
>