[Magdalen] I'm confused

[Grace Cangialosi]

Thanks, everyone--this has been very helpful. whether anything comes up in
conversation about this person after the funeral or not, I know that I need
to feel comfortable in the situation. when I realized yesterday that I
didn't, I knew I needed to do something about it. Maybe "awkward" is a
better word than uncomfortable, but still...

On Tue, May 31, 2016 at 6:03 PM, Roger Stokes <roger.stokes65 at btinternet.com
> wrote:

> On 31/05/2016 00:55, Grace Cangialosi wrote:
>
>> I need a little help here, and I feel foolish for having to ask, but I
>> do. It relates to the terminology for transgender people. I've been
>> wondering about it for awhile, and then this morning I met the trans
>> neighbor of a 92-year-old parishioner who had just passed away and found
>> myself feeling totally confused. Mind you, I didn't express that, but it's
>> been on my mind all day. And she will be coming to the funeral on Saturday,
>> so I will be meeting her again, as will all those in attendance. And
>> knowing this congregation, I anticipate that there will be comments and
>> questions put to me after the funeral is over, probably on Sunday.
>>
>
> Some years ago somebody appeared at Evensong at my church.  I knew them
> through an email list and knew that they had been presenting as female but
> was then presenbting as male.  (She resumed her female identity before her
> death a few years back.)  A member of the congregation asked me a few days
> later whether the visitor was a man or a woman.  I simply answered "Yes".
> That, obviously, is an incomplete answer but (I hope) it indicated an
> unwillingness to take a purely dichotomous view of humanity.  Perhaps a
> somewhat fuller answer is "They are human and so a child of God. That is
> what matters, not their gender."
>
> Hopefully that will shut down the matter at the time though you may care
> to add that this is a complex area which does not allow of a simplistic
> approach.  If they want to find out more then there are those who would
> blow their minds my further explanation.  Meanwhile the neighbour should be
> referred to and addressed as female - of necessary (as Kristin has said) as
> a trans-woman.
>
> Roger
>
>
>


-- 
Grace Cangialosi
Ruckersville, VA

*“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us
guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” - Dietrich
Bonhoeffer*