[Magdalen] I'm confused

[Jon Egger]

Roger, I'd hesitate to answer such questions...besides, the situation is
ripe for triangulation.  I'd have said, "I'll introduce you to them after
the service this Sunday and you can ask them."

On Tue, May 31, 2016 at 5:10 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
wrote:

> Thanks, everyone--this has been very helpful. whether anything comes up in
> conversation about this person after the funeral or not, I know that I need
> to feel comfortable in the situation. when I realized yesterday that I
> didn't, I knew I needed to do something about it. Maybe "awkward" is a
> better word than uncomfortable, but still...
>
> On Tue, May 31, 2016 at 6:03 PM, Roger Stokes <
> roger.stokes65 at btinternet.com
> > wrote:
>
> > On 31/05/2016 00:55, Grace Cangialosi wrote:
> >
> >> I need a little help here, and I feel foolish for having to ask, but I
> >> do. It relates to the terminology for transgender people. I've been
> >> wondering about it for awhile, and then this morning I met the trans
> >> neighbor of a 92-year-old parishioner who had just passed away and found
> >> myself feeling totally confused. Mind you, I didn't express that, but
> it's
> >> been on my mind all day. And she will be coming to the funeral on
> Saturday,
> >> so I will be meeting her again, as will all those in attendance. And
> >> knowing this congregation, I anticipate that there will be comments and
> >> questions put to me after the funeral is over, probably on Sunday.
> >>
> >
> > Some years ago somebody appeared at Evensong at my church.  I knew them
> > through an email list and knew that they had been presenting as female
> but
> > was then presenbting as male.  (She resumed her female identity before
> her
> > death a few years back.)  A member of the congregation asked me a few
> days
> > later whether the visitor was a man or a woman.  I simply answered "Yes".
> > That, obviously, is an incomplete answer but (I hope) it indicated an
> > unwillingness to take a purely dichotomous view of humanity.  Perhaps a
> > somewhat fuller answer is "They are human and so a child of God. That is
> > what matters, not their gender."
> >
> > Hopefully that will shut down the matter at the time though you may care
> > to add that this is a complex area which does not allow of a simplistic
> > approach.  If they want to find out more then there are those who would
> > blow their minds my further explanation.  Meanwhile the neighbour should
> be
> > referred to and addressed as female - of necessary (as Kristin has said)
> as
> > a trans-woman.
> >
> > Roger
> >
> >
> >
>
>
> --
> Grace Cangialosi
> Ruckersville, VA
>
> *“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us
> guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” - Dietrich
> Bonhoeffer*
>



-- 
If no one has told you that they love you today,
let me be the first.
brud