[Magdalen] Life's blessings

[Jay Weigel]

Some who were approved ought not to have been, IMNSHO. But I didn't get to
make those decisions. It is what it is.

On Sat, Oct 22, 2016 at 4:59 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:

> I have known a considerable number of folks who were candidates for
> ordination. Some made it; others not so much. One thing they all pointed
> out was fairly clear to me long before I entered the process:
>
> If you do not get approved, it's supposed to mean you are not a bad person,
> just that the powers that be determined that ministry was not the pace for
> you at that time. Of course, whenever anyone was turned down, the reaction
> of people was either ho-hum or What's-the-matter-with-him? (her?)
>
> And the rest of the story is if you are rejected, is it possible they made
> a bum call? Sure.
>
> But the decision is made, and it's a very rare and genuinely Christian
> bishop who might admit he might have made a mistake. My bishop referred to
> his decision as "discernment," obviously saying that the Holy Spirit told
> him what to do. Disagreement would be tantamount to going against God
> Herself. (In his humble opinion -- which is the only one that counts)
>
> The candidate can do one of two things: he can say he accepts the decision,
> and everyone assumes he really is unfit for ordination, a sort of mark on
> him from then on, like it or not.  Or the candidate can state why he thinks
> the bishop was mistaken.  In that case, the reaction will be, "There, you
> see?  He obviously was not a good candidate. Bishop Swill did us all a
> favor."  The candidate will even begin to wonder if he is as bad as they
> seem to think. Or worse.
>
> So the candidate cannot win, no matter what.  The best course of action is
> to disappear. That's what I did. It just was too painful to look at
> people's eyes and know I was being judged. And the day the bishop and I
> came face to face and he just acted like there was nothing going on. Had to
> get away. At this late date, I have come back in a very cautious way, at a
> new parish.  I don't bring up my past, except to the rector, so he knows
>  the score. Most of the people involved in my case have move on or moved
> out.
>
> No human-based process can ever be perfect. None.
>
> I try to think that my rejection helped me dodge a bullet, as hurtful to so
> many as it was.
>
>
>
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>
> On Fri, Oct 21, 2016 at 9:37 PM, ME Michaud <michaudme at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > I think I've said this before,
> > but anyway ...
> > I have several friends who were denied ordination,
> > and some of them were terribly wounded by the experience.
> > A couple of them have had very nasty passive-aggressive
> > relations with the church, maybe as a kind of revenge.
> > Or else the committee & bishop made a good call.
> > Not sure which.
> >
> > I wish the church did a better job with the aftermath/fallout.
> > But the tendency is to drop people HARD and then turn away.
> >
> > One of my friends (most assuredly now held in Jesus' arms)
> > was of the older school, men who couldn't meet the Latin requirement.
> > He spent his life in the church, exercising a deaconal ministry,
> > and died much loved and admired by the parish.
> > IMO (in my observation) the RCs are much better at this than we are.
> > -M
> >
> >
> > On Friday, October 21, 2016, Marion Thompson <marionwhitevale at gmail.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > open the door a crack and let out some pain that lurks in the shadows.
> > > Isn't this all why people go to therapists and talk things out?  I
> could
> > > keep one busy for a very long time.
> > >
> > >
> >
>