[Magdalen] Life's blessings

[Jay Weigel]

I had a friend (sadly now deceased) who did that. He was refused by our
diocese, and I believe may have also been turned down by another, not for
himself, exactly, but, it was said, because of his wife....and I can
believe it. I won't get into exactly why, but she was...difficult would be
putting it kindly. And smarmy about it in the bargain. While most of us
adored him, we just didn't "get" her....or why he put up with her. In any
case, he finally wound up in the Dio of GA, where he was accepted and
ordained and stayed until his death just a couple of years ago. After he
died she moved back to Tennessee, and I'm not sure if she is still even an
Episcopalian.

On Sat, Oct 22, 2016 at 7:00 PM, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com
<javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','houstonklr at gmail.com');>> wrote:

> ...and now a days "candidates" just find a dio that will - which often
> happens with sometimes disastrous results.
> Lynn
>
>
>
> www.ichthysdesigns.com
>
> When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would
> not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you
> gave me'. attributed to Erma Bombeck
>
>
> On Oct 22, 2016, at 3:59 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
> oppenheimerjw at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','oppenheimerjw at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
> I have known a considerable number of folks who were candidates for
> ordination. Some made it; others not so much. One thing they all pointed
> out was fairly clear to me long before I entered the process:
>
> If you do not get approved, it's supposed to mean you are not a bad person,
> just that the powers that be determined that ministry was not the pace for
> you at that time. Of course, whenever anyone was turned down, the reaction
> of people was either ho-hum or What's-the-matter-with-him? (her?)
>
> And the rest of the story is if you are rejected, is it possible they made
> a bum call? Sure.
>
> But the decision is made, and it's a very rare and genuinely Christian
> bishop who might admit he might have made a mistake. My bishop referred to
> his decision as "discernment," obviously saying that the Holy Spirit told
> him what to do. Disagreement would be tantamount to going against God
> Herself. (In his humble opinion -- which is the only one that counts)
>
> The candidate can do one of two things: he can say he accepts the decision,
> and everyone assumes he really is unfit for ordination, a sort of mark on
> him from then on, like it or not.  Or the candidate can state why he thinks
> the bishop was mistaken.  In that case, the reaction will be, "There, you
> see?  He obviously was not a good candidate. Bishop Swill did us all a
> favor."  The candidate will even begin to wonder if he is as bad as they
> seem to think. Or worse.
>
> So the candidate cannot win, no matter what.  The best course of action is
> to disappear. That's what I did. It just was too painful to look at
> people's eyes and know I was being judged. And the day the bishop and I
> came face to face and he just acted like there was nothing going on. Had to
> get away. At this late date, I have come back in a very cautious way, at a
> new parish.  I don't bring up my past, except to the rector, so he knows
> the score. Most of the people involved in my case have move on or moved
> out.
>
> No human-based process can ever be perfect. None.
>
> I try to think that my rejection helped me dodge a bullet, as hurtful to so
> many as it was.
>
>
>
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>
> > On Fri, Oct 21, 2016 at 9:37 PM, ME Michaud <michaudme at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','michaudme at gmail.com');>> wrote:
> >
> > I think I've said this before,
> > but anyway ...
> > I have several friends who were denied ordination,
> > and some of them were terribly wounded by the experience.
> > A couple of them have had very nasty passive-aggressive
> > relations with the church, maybe as a kind of revenge.
> > Or else the committee & bishop made a good call.
> > Not sure which.
> >
> > I wish the church did a better job with the aftermath/fallout.
> > But the tendency is to drop people HARD and then turn away.
> >
> > One of my friends (most assuredly now held in Jesus' arms)
> > was of the older school, men who couldn't meet the Latin requirement.
> > He spent his life in the church, exercising a deaconal ministry,
> > and died much loved and admired by the parish.
> > IMO (in my observation) the RCs are much better at this than we are.
> > -M
> >
> >
> > On Friday, October 21, 2016, Marion Thompson <marionwhitevale at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','marionwhitevale at gmail.com');>>
> > wrote:
> >
> >> open the door a crack and let out some pain that lurks in the shadows.
> >> Isn't this all why people go to therapists and talk things out?  I could
> >> keep one busy for a very long time.
> >
>