[Magdalen] Life's blessings

James Oppenheimer-Crawford oppenheimerjw at gmail.com
Sun Oct 23 23:16:05 UTC 2016


A delightful lady from the Caribbean was in my class. A real Anglican.  She
was refused because of her age.  She is now a priest in the UCC. Our loss,
their gain.

[I wonder why that word is spelled with two 'b's]

James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
*“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy

On Sat, Oct 22, 2016 at 8:37 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:

> I had a friend (sadly now deceased) who did that. He was refused by our
> diocese, and I believe may have also been turned down by another, not for
> himself, exactly, but, it was said, because of his wife....and I can
> believe it. I won't get into exactly why, but she was...difficult would be
> putting it kindly. And smarmy about it in the bargain. While most of us
> adored him, we just didn't "get" her....or why he put up with her. In any
> case, he finally wound up in the Dio of GA, where he was accepted and
> ordained and stayed until his death just a couple of years ago. After he
> died she moved back to Tennessee, and I'm not sure if she is still even an
> Episcopalian.
>
> On Sat, Oct 22, 2016 at 7:00 PM, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com
> <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','houstonklr at gmail.com');>> wrote:
>
> > ...and now a days "candidates" just find a dio that will - which often
> > happens with sometimes disastrous results.
> > Lynn
> >
> >
> >
> > www.ichthysdesigns.com
> >
> > When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would
> > not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything
> you
> > gave me'. attributed to Erma Bombeck
> >
> >
> > On Oct 22, 2016, at 3:59 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
> > oppenheimerjw at gmail.com
> > <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','oppenheimerjw at gmail.com');>> wrote:
> >
> > I have known a considerable number of folks who were candidates for
> > ordination. Some made it; others not so much. One thing they all pointed
> > out was fairly clear to me long before I entered the process:
> >
> > If you do not get approved, it's supposed to mean you are not a bad
> person,
> > just that the powers that be determined that ministry was not the pace
> for
> > you at that time. Of course, whenever anyone was turned down, the
> reaction
> > of people was either ho-hum or What's-the-matter-with-him? (her?)
> >
> > And the rest of the story is if you are rejected, is it possible they
> made
> > a bum call? Sure.
> >
> > But the decision is made, and it's a very rare and genuinely Christian
> > bishop who might admit he might have made a mistake. My bishop referred
> to
> > his decision as "discernment," obviously saying that the Holy Spirit told
> > him what to do. Disagreement would be tantamount to going against God
> > Herself. (In his humble opinion -- which is the only one that counts)
> >
> > The candidate can do one of two things: he can say he accepts the
> decision,
> > and everyone assumes he really is unfit for ordination, a sort of mark on
> > him from then on, like it or not.  Or the candidate can state why he
> thinks
> > the bishop was mistaken.  In that case, the reaction will be, "There, you
> > see?  He obviously was not a good candidate. Bishop Swill did us all a
> > favor."  The candidate will even begin to wonder if he is as bad as they
> > seem to think. Or worse.
> >
> > So the candidate cannot win, no matter what.  The best course of action
> is
> > to disappear. That's what I did. It just was too painful to look at
> > people's eyes and know I was being judged. And the day the bishop and I
> > came face to face and he just acted like there was nothing going on. Had
> to
> > get away. At this late date, I have come back in a very cautious way, at
> a
> > new parish.  I don't bring up my past, except to the rector, so he knows
> > the score. Most of the people involved in my case have move on or moved
> > out.
> >
> > No human-based process can ever be perfect. None.
> >
> > I try to think that my rejection helped me dodge a bullet, as hurtful to
> so
> > many as it was.
> >
> >
> >
> > James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> > *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> > except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
> >
> > > On Fri, Oct 21, 2016 at 9:37 PM, ME Michaud <michaudme at gmail.com
> > <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','michaudme at gmail.com');>> wrote:
> > >
> > > I think I've said this before,
> > > but anyway ...
> > > I have several friends who were denied ordination,
> > > and some of them were terribly wounded by the experience.
> > > A couple of them have had very nasty passive-aggressive
> > > relations with the church, maybe as a kind of revenge.
> > > Or else the committee & bishop made a good call.
> > > Not sure which.
> > >
> > > I wish the church did a better job with the aftermath/fallout.
> > > But the tendency is to drop people HARD and then turn away.
> > >
> > > One of my friends (most assuredly now held in Jesus' arms)
> > > was of the older school, men who couldn't meet the Latin requirement.
> > > He spent his life in the church, exercising a deaconal ministry,
> > > and died much loved and admired by the parish.
> > > IMO (in my observation) the RCs are much better at this than we are.
> > > -M
> > >
> > >
> > > On Friday, October 21, 2016, Marion Thompson <
> marionwhitevale at gmail.com
> > <javascript:_e(%7B%7D,'cvml','marionwhitevale at gmail.com');>>
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > >> open the door a crack and let out some pain that lurks in the shadows.
> > >> Isn't this all why people go to therapists and talk things out?  I
> could
> > >> keep one busy for a very long time.
> > >
> >
>


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