[Magdalen] Too good not to share

Mon Apr 10 20:14:03 UTC 2017

I love, love, LOVE Anne Lamott! Is this from her new book or from her blog? (Which I'm not subscribed to...)

> On Apr 10, 2017, at 11:13 AM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> Anne Lamott <https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott/?fref=nf>
> <https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott/?fref=nf>
> April 8 at 10:26am
> <https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott/posts/1136345283161780> ·
> <https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.l.clifton/posts/10211814786543369?from_close_friend=1&notif_t=close_friend_activity&notif_id=1491754686057351#>
> 
> FEARS AND TEARS
> 
> It's my dad's birthday today. He would have been 94. He died in 1979, at
> the age of 54, of brain cancer. It was the end of the world. My brother
> John was 27, Stevo was 20, I was 25. I'm not positive we ever got over it,
> in the way that the world assured us we would, and hoped we would, although
> with these badly broken psychic legs, we learned to dance again, to hike
> again, with limps and weird orthopedic shoes.
> 
> This is what the people in every city on my current book tour are living
> with: catastrophic losses. They are going through divorce, or they know
> they are about to; they have teenagers and young adults who are scaring
> them to death, with alcoholism, addiction, mental illness; or they have
> those things themselves, as do I, as do all of my closest friends. Some of
> them, on top of this, hate their bodies, and in some cases are joined in
> that hate by their spouses, and the culture.
> 
> All of this is being felt with the backdrop of a (let's say) worrisome new
> administration. These are easily the most stricken, worried, sad, stunned
> audiences I've ever spoken to.
> 
> The people in my audiences would like to know how to keep the faith,
> spirits up, and how to keep their children alive.
> 
> Easy!
> 
> Just kidding: hard. Hard hard hard. All I can offer is what works for me.
> Here's what I share with my Sunday School kids and youth, the lessons and
> reminders that can lift and reassure us for a few hours at a time. Which,
> some days, is all we can hope for, and a miracle.
> 
> 1) We do Fears and Tears, and Precious Community. We write down our fears
> and we hand them to God and we say, sometimes bitterly, "Here. Fine. It's
> all yours." The teenagers say, "What ever," or "What ev," which is the
> fourth great prayer. Sometimes we cry. A boy cried five days after the
> election because his family might be separated in these new times, and this
> gave a girl the courage to tear up too, because her cat was about to die.
> We did not hand the kids bumper stickers, or abuse them with silver-lining
> talks, or pummel them with the insane belief that God never gives you more
> than you can bear--what a crock!--because we are these kids' precious
> community, and wanted to let them feel and be wherever they are. We, six
> people all told, did comfort them, with truth, and hugs. Then--the most
> spiritual thing we can do together--we overate. And it was good.
> 
> 2) We do Loved and Chosen. The world is not telling them that they are
> loved, exactly as is. Some are brown, why, or overweight. A woman told me
> recently that when she was naughty as a child in a fundamentalist
> household, she asked her mother if she still loved her, and her mother
> said, "Not when you're bad." So we do the opposite. I ask, "Is anyone here
> wearing one green and one orange shoelace?" and a very tell and shy girl
> will raise her hand, and I will say, "Honey Bear? You are loved and chosen.
> As is, here and now and always. This is a come as you are system." The girl
> (who had just gotten arrested for drunk and disorderly) smiled, blushed,
> and dipped her head like a swan.
> 
> 3) We commit to giving street people bottles of water and granola bars,
> picking up garbage, and flirting with old people, all week, 'til we meet
> again. (My son gives homeless guys at intersections a bottle of water and a
> cigarette.) (I love this so much.) We give away money to the homeless, even
> if we wish they would not spend it on drugs or alcohol. It's none of our
> business. Our business is to serve the poor, to give and give, to live from
> our merciful hearts. Jesus did not ask blind guy, after healing him, what
> he planned on looking at that day.
> 
> 4) We promise each other to stick together, no matter what. I tell them
> that they must not keep any bad secrets, that they must tell a safe
> grown-up--a parent, pastor, teacher or me. This will be the beginning of
> healing. You can't heal it if you don't reveal it. Tell it! And then if we
> stick together, we will be okay, or at least medium-okay, which is a small
> miracle if you have been freaked out since (say, hypothetically) November:
> The whole system of being a human works because we are not all crazy on the
> same day. Ask around, tell your truth: Someone will nod gently, and say,
> "Me too. I was there Tuesday--just mad as a HATTER. These are the things I
> did, that helped me hit the reset button....Let me go get a nice cup of
> tea."
> 
> 5) We go and join our grown-ups after the service is over, and we overeat
> again, this time with the adults, which is fine, especially during these
> times, as long as you are not mean to yourself about it. (Harshing yourself
> for being human is the only sin, along with killing another. As long as we
> are on this topic, it is a good idea on your worst days to write a note to
> yourself from Jesus that says, "Try not to kill anyone today," and tape it
> to the phone.)
> 
> Oh, maybe I also tell the people in my book tour audiences my plans for the
> Resistance, or whom I am currently crowd sourcing, or websites where
> brilliant political people help me understand how we might proceed, and
> help me laugh again, because laughter is IS IS carbonated holiness; I tell
> them is their kids are scaring them to death, check out Al-Anon. But with
> my kids, I say what my pastor always says: I love you; please please please
> tie your shoe, just for my tired old Nana peace of mind; and God bless you
> GOOD.
> 
> And today, if I was home with them, we would all sing Happy Birthday to my
> father.
> =
> ==========================
> I love you all.
> 
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy