[Magdalen] Too good not to share

[Jay Weigel]

Wonderful stuff!

On Mon, Apr 10, 2017 at 4:14 PM, Grace Cangialosi <gracecan at gmail.com>
wrote:

> I love, love, LOVE Anne Lamott! Is this from her new book or from her
> blog? (Which I'm not subscribed to...)
>
> > On Apr 10, 2017, at 11:13 AM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
> oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > Anne Lamott <https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott/?fref=nf>
> > <https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott/?fref=nf>
> > April 8 at 10:26am
> > <https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott/posts/1136345283161780> ·
> > <https://www.facebook.com/elizabeth.l.clifton/posts/
> 10211814786543369?from_close_friend=1&notif_t=close_friend_
> activity&notif_id=1491754686057351#>
> >
> > FEARS AND TEARS
> >
> > It's my dad's birthday today. He would have been 94. He died in 1979, at
> > the age of 54, of brain cancer. It was the end of the world. My brother
> > John was 27, Stevo was 20, I was 25. I'm not positive we ever got over
> it,
> > in the way that the world assured us we would, and hoped we would,
> although
> > with these badly broken psychic legs, we learned to dance again, to hike
> > again, with limps and weird orthopedic shoes.
> >
> > This is what the people in every city on my current book tour are living
> > with: catastrophic losses. They are going through divorce, or they know
> > they are about to; they have teenagers and young adults who are scaring
> > them to death, with alcoholism, addiction, mental illness; or they have
> > those things themselves, as do I, as do all of my closest friends. Some
> of
> > them, on top of this, hate their bodies, and in some cases are joined in
> > that hate by their spouses, and the culture.
> >
> > All of this is being felt with the backdrop of a (let's say) worrisome
> new
> > administration. These are easily the most stricken, worried, sad, stunned
> > audiences I've ever spoken to.
> >
> > The people in my audiences would like to know how to keep the faith,
> > spirits up, and how to keep their children alive.
> >
> > Easy!
> >
> > Just kidding: hard. Hard hard hard. All I can offer is what works for me.
> > Here's what I share with my Sunday School kids and youth, the lessons and
> > reminders that can lift and reassure us for a few hours at a time. Which,
> > some days, is all we can hope for, and a miracle.
> >
> > 1) We do Fears and Tears, and Precious Community. We write down our fears
> > and we hand them to God and we say, sometimes bitterly, "Here. Fine. It's
> > all yours." The teenagers say, "What ever," or "What ev," which is the
> > fourth great prayer. Sometimes we cry. A boy cried five days after the
> > election because his family might be separated in these new times, and
> this
> > gave a girl the courage to tear up too, because her cat was about to die.
> > We did not hand the kids bumper stickers, or abuse them with
> silver-lining
> > talks, or pummel them with the insane belief that God never gives you
> more
> > than you can bear--what a crock!--because we are these kids' precious
> > community, and wanted to let them feel and be wherever they are. We, six
> > people all told, did comfort them, with truth, and hugs. Then--the most
> > spiritual thing we can do together--we overate. And it was good.
> >
> > 2) We do Loved and Chosen. The world is not telling them that they are
> > loved, exactly as is. Some are brown, why, or overweight. A woman told me
> > recently that when she was naughty as a child in a fundamentalist
> > household, she asked her mother if she still loved her, and her mother
> > said, "Not when you're bad." So we do the opposite. I ask, "Is anyone
> here
> > wearing one green and one orange shoelace?" and a very tell and shy girl
> > will raise her hand, and I will say, "Honey Bear? You are loved and
> chosen.
> > As is, here and now and always. This is a come as you are system." The
> girl
> > (who had just gotten arrested for drunk and disorderly) smiled, blushed,
> > and dipped her head like a swan.
> >
> > 3) We commit to giving street people bottles of water and granola bars,
> > picking up garbage, and flirting with old people, all week, 'til we meet
> > again. (My son gives homeless guys at intersections a bottle of water
> and a
> > cigarette.) (I love this so much.) We give away money to the homeless,
> even
> > if we wish they would not spend it on drugs or alcohol. It's none of our
> > business. Our business is to serve the poor, to give and give, to live
> from
> > our merciful hearts. Jesus did not ask blind guy, after healing him, what
> > he planned on looking at that day.
> >
> > 4) We promise each other to stick together, no matter what. I tell them
> > that they must not keep any bad secrets, that they must tell a safe
> > grown-up--a parent, pastor, teacher or me. This will be the beginning of
> > healing. You can't heal it if you don't reveal it. Tell it! And then if
> we
> > stick together, we will be okay, or at least medium-okay, which is a
> small
> > miracle if you have been freaked out since (say, hypothetically)
> November:
> > The whole system of being a human works because we are not all crazy on
> the
> > same day. Ask around, tell your truth: Someone will nod gently, and say,
> > "Me too. I was there Tuesday--just mad as a HATTER. These are the things
> I
> > did, that helped me hit the reset button....Let me go get a nice cup of
> > tea."
> >
> > 5) We go and join our grown-ups after the service is over, and we overeat
> > again, this time with the adults, which is fine, especially during these
> > times, as long as you are not mean to yourself about it. (Harshing
> yourself
> > for being human is the only sin, along with killing another. As long as
> we
> > are on this topic, it is a good idea on your worst days to write a note
> to
> > yourself from Jesus that says, "Try not to kill anyone today," and tape
> it
> > to the phone.)
> >
> > Oh, maybe I also tell the people in my book tour audiences my plans for
> the
> > Resistance, or whom I am currently crowd sourcing, or websites where
> > brilliant political people help me understand how we might proceed, and
> > help me laugh again, because laughter is IS IS carbonated holiness; I
> tell
> > them is their kids are scaring them to death, check out Al-Anon. But with
> > my kids, I say what my pastor always says: I love you; please please
> please
> > tie your shoe, just for my tired old Nana peace of mind; and God bless
> you
> > GOOD.
> >
> > And today, if I was home with them, we would all sing Happy Birthday to
> my
> > father.
> > =
> > ​==========================
> > I love you all.
> > ​
> > James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> > *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> > except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>