[Magdalen] As long as we're confessing stuff...

[Ann Markle]

Molly, what Ginga & Louise say.  And do pay attention to adequate sleep,
nutrition, and rest.  And ask for help!  Yes, with the laundry and meals.
Does your church have a "meals and chores" group?  Do you qualify for some
kind of "Senior Assistance" (sorry) with meals and chores?  Do get all the
help you can, as part of the treating yourself with exquisite care.
Sometimes that's the hard lesson of getting old or just being sick --
learning to ask for adequate help.  That kind of humility can be so hard
for us strong, independent women.

I remember when I had a MUCH more minor thing -- when I took the drugs that
forced my bones to release stem cells for my brother all those many years
ago.  I'm convinced that that physical process (as well as the grief when
he died, of course) contributed to the first and only (so far) clinical
depression I've ever experienced.  When I felt it, I knew that it was
qualititatively different from all that dysthymia I had experienced in my
wild, crazy youth.  Have you seen a shrink, preferably one with experience
with cancer patients (s/he'd know how much the chemo and radiation
contribute, and perhaps which meds could work best with those treatments)?
Of course, I wish I could do or say something that would help "fix you."
It's hard for friends to feel so helpless in the face of your conditions.

I do hope it helps a little to know you're loved and prayed for here in the
pub.

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Ann

The Rev. Ann Markle
Buffalo, NY
ann.markle at aya.yale.edu

On Sat, Apr 22, 2017 at 6:43 PM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:

> I think people believe that I need reassurance that I'm going to survive
> this bout with cancer, and I believe that too.  But I'm also nudging 68,
> and I'm aware that I'm on the downslope of life, although the timing and
> rate of descent are TBD.  As you age, some doors necessarily close, and
> right now I'm struggling with the knowledge of my own mortality, and also
> with very real and present worries about getting through the rest of
> radiation without becoming disabled by fatigue.  As it stands, I have
> trouble getting up the basement stairs, and the basement is where the
> washer and dryer are.  That sort of thing. So being told heartily that "my
> cousin had breast cancer when she was in her forties and twenty years
> later, she's fine" is not especially useful.
>
> Molly
>
> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no
> other way. -- Mark Twain
>
> > On Apr 22, 2017, at 5:26 PM, Ginga Wilder <gingawilder at gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > Molly, let the guilting comments about bucking up, etc. fall on the floor
> > in little piles.  Step over them on your way to lie down.  Are you
> getting
> > enough nourishment?  Do you have assistance getting to radiation
> treatments
> > and the grocery or pharmacy?  Ask your local priest bring a home
> eucharist
> > to you...as regularly as you need.  Speak to yourself with deepest
> kindness
> > and love.  Take exquisite care of you!
> >
> > Love you,
> > Ginga
> >
> >> On Sat, Apr 22, 2017 at 5:02 PM, Louise Laughton <llaug2 at gmail.com>
> wrote:
> >>
> >> To Molly: Why shouldn’t you give a worry, passing or otherwise, to your
> >> long-term prospects? Seems a reality-oriented consideration to me, not
> at
> >> all a matter of wallowing in a made-up problem from which one could
> “buck
> >> up” and look on the bright side, etc. etc. As for the rest, please know
> >> that I think of you — not that it can do much good, but you are in mind
> >> often. (It’s cold and gloomy today in Syracuse, too.)
>
>