[Magdalen] Merry (?) Happy ( ?) Joyous(?) Christmas

[Don Boyd]

Sistren and brethren
        Here stand I in a fog of self-pity (always efficacious, that),  wondering how to acknowledge my gratitude for so much good will.    The word I've needed has, possibly providentially, arrived.   I can tell you that in the middle of fear and sadness and Loneliness (not whining, just naming the devil) I am experiencing a BLESSED CHRISTMAS and I wish that you can know the sweetness of showering blessings.   God love you.  I love you, companions all.
Sent from my iPod

> On Dec 26, 2017, at 1:30 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> “Merry Christmas”: F.A.Q.
> 
> By Mark Remy <https://www.newyorker.com/contributors/mark-remy>
> 
> December 19, 2017
> Hello, and welcome to the official Web page of the Holiday Enforcement
> Administration, a division of the U.S. Department of Jesus.
> 
> Due to the overwhelming number of queries we’ve received since the passage
> of the Compulsory Acknowledgment of Christ Act, we ask that you browse our
> F.A.Q. before contacting us. It’s possible that we’ve already answered your
> question!
> 
> Thank you, and Merry Christmas.
> 
> *What is the Compulsory Acknowledgment of Christ Act, and when did it
> become law?*
> 
> The Compulsory Acknowledgment of Christ Act (*CACA*) prohibits the use of
> the phrase “happy holidays” while mandating the use of “Merry Christmas.”
> It was signed into law by President Donald J. Trump on October 31, 2017.
> Merry Christmas.
> 
> *Some of my best friends are Jewish/Muslim/Hindu/atheist/coastal élites.
> Must they say “Merry Christmas” as well?*
> 
> Yes.
> 
> *Even if they’re alone? Like, in an otherwise empty elevator?*
> 
> Yes.
> 
> *What happens if they refuse?*
> 
> We hope it won’t come to that.
> 
> *I’ve heard that Jesus is “the reason for the season.” Is this true?*
> 
> Yes. That phrase actually originated with Christ himself and is a testament
> to His knack for catchy rhymes.
> 
> *If Jesus were alive today, would he insist that everyone say “Merry
> Christmas”?*
> 
> Yes. Scripture is very clear on this matter.
> 
> *What is the origin of the word “Christmas”?*
> 
> The word itself is Spanish, meaning “more Christ.”
> 
> *That reminds me—what was the deal with Trump and that taco bowl?*
> 
> For questions regarding President Trump’s appreciation for Mexican food,
> please see the official Web page of the U.S. Immigration and Customs
> Enforcement’s Bureau of Hispanic Love.
> 
> *I’ve been saying “Merry Christmas” for years, and no one has ever
> complained or tried to stop me. Have I been doing it wrong?*
> 
> Yes. Probably you aren’t being heard properly. A bullhorn is a simple and
> effective way to amplify your message, particularly in a large crowd—e.g.,
> cocktail party, music concert, packed courtroom. (A bullhorn also makes a
> great Christmas present—our special-edition *CACA* model, seventy-nine
> dollars, delivers fifty watts of joyous sound, in Voice or Siren Mode, and
> comes swaddled in a padded carrying case.)
> 
> *Someone recently said “Happy Christmas” to me and I didn’t know how to
> react. Can you help?*
> 
> The correct phrase is “Merry Christmas.” “Happy Christmas,” a British
> bastardization, is *not* an acceptable substitute. Make that clear by
> giving the offender a gag “ticket” from our online store (twelve dollars
> for a pad of fifty). Then report him or her to us via this confidential
> form. We will take it from there!
> 
> *What should I do if I wish someone a Merry Christmas and they fail to wish
> me a Merry Christmas in return?*
> 
> See above.
> 
> *I enjoy saying “Merry Christmas” but wish I could employ the phrase more
> relentlessly. Any tips?*
> 
> There are many ways you can incorporate “Merry Christmas” into your
> day-to-day life. Try answering the phone with “Merry Christmas” instead of
> “hello.” Rather than saying “I’m sorry” or “Huh?” or “Oh, my God! Are you
> O.K.?” say “Merry Christmas.” In lieu of a tip, offer your server or
> barista a loud and proud “*MERRY CHRISTMAS*!” on your way out, and watch
> their faces light up.
> 
> By the way, don’t feel as if you need a reason to wish someone Merry
> Christmas—there’s nothing wrong with just opening a window and shouting it,
> or mouthing the phrase to fellow motorists during rush hour. Remember, too,
> that every day except Sunday you have an opportunity to wish your mailman a
> Merry Christmas.
> 
> *You mean “letter carrier,” right? Ours is a woman.*
> 
> No. We are saying “mailman” again.
> 
> *I find the phrase “Merry Christmas” insufficiently pious. How can I ramp
> up the religiosity?*
> 
> Many people are warming to the phrase “Merry Jesuschristmas.”
> 
> *Isn’t this whole thing a non-issue? A manufactured “controversy” designed
> to deepen divides, feed false notions of victimhood, and distract from the
> plethora of real scandals, failures, and ethical lapses that have plagued
> this Administration from Day One?*
> 
> Merry Christmas!
> 
> *But—*
> 
> We said, *MERRY CHRISTMAS*.
> 
> *Jesus.*
> Exactly.
> 
> 
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy