[Magdalen] P.S. Re: Update

[Ginga Wilder]

Same here, Jay.   Our little church of 45 families has several committees
that fall under parish life header.  We have a pastoral care committee that
keeps the priest updated on who is sick.  (It does not work unless someone
from the person's family lets the church know.)  We have a visitation
committee that visits families, IFF they desire.  A committee member calls
them to inquire.  And, we also have a meals committee.  The chair of that
or another appointed person asks if meals would be helpful.  Usually once
or twice weekly a meal is taken.  We have 18 people to cook.  The cook
chair and the family make a monthly schedule that is published to the
cooks.  Cooks choose a convenient day to prepare a meal.  John and I took a
meal to a couple this week - the husband is having chemotherapy.  We also
have licensed lay Eucharistic Visitors who take communion when asked to
those who cannot come to church.  All of these ministries give face to face
contact for sick or homebound parishioners with caring people from their
church.  This arrangements requires someone in the parish thinking of how
to care as the body of Christ for people with pastoral needs, plus people
with leadership gifts to chair the teams, and commitment from those who
will be the hands, feet, heart of Christ who cook a mean, deliver a meal,
make the phone call, administer the Eucharist, etc.  In order to
participate in these ministries, all parishioners must be trained in how to
visit the sick.  Not every individual has gifts to do pastoral
care....their gifts can be used in this system, even if they won't do
personal contact.

One thing I know about churches that don't have something like the above
organized is that pastoral needs of parishioners fall through very large
cracks.  And, for the person who is sick, expectations that the church will
rise to our need for pastoral care and conversation or whatever that need
may be -- well, our personal expectations can be a problem.  Letting the
priest or lay pastor know of our need for personal contact is essential.
Yeah, it is hard to ask for help, very hard.  But, asking for specific help
is a first step in pastoral in a church knowing of a need.  Also essential
for the church's response, if a parishioner says they do not need pastoral
contact from the church, let their 'no, thank you' be their no.  To visit
any way is abusive.

Maybe I sound like I am from alien territory, but most churches in the SC
lowcountry have organized pastoral care ministries.. With strong oversight,
they work lovingly.

Ginga


On Fri, Feb 17, 2017 at 10:51 PM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com> wrote:

> My church in Tennessee, and the Lutheran church I attend here, both have
> Parish Life committees which are responsible for such things and do a
> pretty good job. The one at my former parish, in fact, does a bang-up. The
> one here I know only by reputation but it is said to do very well. If I
> needed something I suspect I could call the secretary who would pass it on.
> I don't know as I haven't done so. I wasn't attending Reformation when I
> had all the surgeries.
>
> On Fri, Feb 17, 2017 at 10:30 PM, Lynn Ronkainen <houstonklr at gmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Seems like many people come into a (new) church love-starved and find
> love
> > but then never make the how-can-I-pass-it-on connection. I'm sad for this
> > situation Molly. I know that it hurts. We love you here, it's just not
> easy
> > to be there for you in person.
> > Love and hugs from TX
> > Lynn
> >
> > On Feb 17, 2017, at 8:46 PM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
> >
> > I think I'm just about done with church.  If we talk about love and don't
> > do it, what's the point?
> >
> > Molly
> >
> > The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no
> > other way. -- Mark Twain
> >
> > > On Feb 17, 2017, at 8:43 PM, Marion Thompson <
> marionwhitevale at gmail.com>
> > wrote:
> > >
> > > It wasn't meant to.  Sorry if it wasn't helpful in the moment.  I think
> > I was looking for the suggestions you did make in your reply.
> > >
> > > Marion, a pilgrim
> > >
> > >
> > >> On 2/17/2017 8:16 PM, Molly Wolf wrote:
> > >> That capitalized "DO" sounds exasperated.
> > >>
> > >> Molly
> > >>
> > >> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in
> > no other way. -- Mark Twain
> > >>
> > >>> On Feb 17, 2017, at 7:46 PM, Marion Thompson <
> > marionwhitevale at gmail.com> wrote:
> > >>>
> > >>> What do you want church to DO?
> > >>>
> > >>> Marion, a pilgrim
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>> On 2/17/2017 6:25 PM, Molly Wolf wrote:
> > >>>> Louise, the answer is "both".  There is situational depression,
> which
> > is a normal response to serious stresses, and there is endogenous
> > depression, the result of neurotransmitters messed up by too much bad
> > stuff, genetics, or some combination.
> > >>>>
> > >>>> I called a friend who hauled me out of the pit, and now I'm just
> > pretty seriously pissed off with church.
> > >>>>
> > >>>> Molly
> > >>>>
> > >>>> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn
> > in no other way. -- Mark Twain
> > >>>>
> > >>>>> On Feb 17, 2017, at 4:59 PM, Louise Laughton <llaug at twcny.rr.com>
> > wrote:
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>> Question, Molly: Is it depression when a person has every reason to
> > be depressed? This isn’t a smart-Aleck crack — it’s a real question. I’m
> > with you on the waiting to see the doctor complaint. It’s terrible when
> the
> > wait stretches into more than an hour after the app’t time.
> > >>
> > >
> >
> >
>