[Magdalen] Prayer Request for my old friend

[Lynn Ronkainen]

I've noticed  that call-it-like-it-is people (of which I can be one) find it 
difficult to find a lens for health/age type comments coming their way or 
emanating outward...

Lynn

website: www.ichthysdesigns.com

When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I have not a 
single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything You gave me." 
attributed to Erma Bombeck
 "Either Freedom for all or stop talking about Freedom at all" from a talk 
by Richard Rohr

--------------------------------------------------
From: "James Oppenheimer-Crawford" <oppenheimerjw at gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, January 16, 2017 5:29 PM
To: "Magdalen at herberthouse.org" <magdalen at herberthouse.org>
Subject: Re: [Magdalen] Prayer Request for my old friend

> And people who have some health problems are sensitive because they
> constantly get this dismissive attitude from others who should know 
> better,
> and hence, you are suggesting, the reaction to Ann's use of the word
> "sickly."  That is a point that never would have occurred to clueless old,
> elderly, doddering me.
>
> I loathe getting old.
>
> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved,
> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>
> On Mon, Jan 16, 2017 at 5:48 PM, Molly Wolf <lupa at kos.net> wrote:
>
>> I just had a major discussion with my son over the assumption by some
>> folks that other folks with health issues are "milking the system" or
>> otherwise trying to manipulate the healthy into getting their own way.
>> Apparently some people feel that cancer victims are prima donnas who just
>> want to be catered to.  Very much the same sort of dismissive,
>> condescending, blaming statements occur when humans try to manage their
>> fear of (say) the poor.
>>
>> Of course it's quite possible that this happens.  I'm just not convinced
>> that it's my job to pass this sort of judgment without the facts.  Maybe
>> Ann's roommates are faking it; maybe they have psychogenic but real
>> disorders; maybe they have disabling ailments.  We have no information.
>>
>> I had a breakthrough moment when I realized that the valetudinarian 
>> ladies
>> in Georgette Heyer's novels might well have been suffering from cosmetic
>> heavy metal poisoning.
>>
>> Molly
>>
>> The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no
>> other way. -- Mark Twain
>>
>> > On Jan 16, 2017, at 5:32 PM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford <
>> oppenheimerjw at gmail.com> wrote:
>> >
>> > I sometimes run into a word that is not acceptable to someone else.  My
>> > first response is to laugh uproariously and shout, "No!  You've GOT to 
>> > be
>> > kidding me!" But that usually doesn't end well, so now I just apologize
>> and
>> > try to make a mental note not to use that word again with that person.
>> If
>> > it happens very often, I try to avoid using the word. I would not have
>> > expected that response to "sickly," but the other person might be a bit
>> > hypervigilant because they realize the state of affairs (milking their
>> > situation) and are trying to deny it. Sickly is a term which describes 
>> > a
>> > state of being.  For a person to find it offensive means something else
>> is
>> > going on, but on the other hand, we all try to avoid offending our
>> friends.
>> >
>> > James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
>> > *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not 
>> > preserved,
>> > except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>> >
>> > On Mon, Jan 16, 2017 at 12:02 PM, Ann Markle <ann.markle at aya.yale.edu>
>> > wrote:
>> >
>> >> Hmmm.  "Elderly."  I guess if it were even vaguely defined, as is
>> "senior"
>> >> (whether it starts at 50 or 65 or whatever, at least there's a 
>> >> defining
>> >> age), it wouldn't be so (even mildly) offensive to me.  There seems to
>> me
>> >> to be just a touch of a sniff attached to the word "elderly," some 
>> >> sort
>> of
>> >> judgment about age or physical condition (I've heard it used pretty
>> >> interchangeably with "frail elderly").
>> >>
>> >> I've been wondering the same thing (and having a similar debate)
>> regarding
>> >> the word "sickly."  My housemate and her partner have been -- not just
>> >> under the weather, but pretty much out of commission, flat in bed or
>> >> housebound, for most of the fall and winter (well, except to go to San
>> >> Diego for a vacation, of course).  I offhandedly used the word 
>> >> "sickly"
>> >> when I referred to the two of them several weeks ago, and was met with 
>> >> a
>> >> sharp response.  When I pointed out the weeks they had been out of
>> >> commission (not socializing, even with each other, not doing usual
>> >> activities, keeping only necessary appointments, going to bed and to
>> sleep
>> >> after being out for even a short time), there was still an icy
>> silence.  To
>> >> be perfectly truthful, when I stopped to think it through there was a
>> >> certain mild value judgment on my part attached to the use of the word
>> >> "sickly" (sometimes it feels as though they're trying to
>> >> "out-hypochondriac" one another).  However, it really was an offhand,
>> >> almost inadvertent use of the word at the time, expressing sympathy, I
>> >> thought, for the amount of time they both seemed to be laid up.
>> >>
>> >> Ann
>> >>
>> >> The Rev. Ann Markle
>> >> Buffalo, NY
>> >> ann.markle at aya.yale.edu
>> >>
>> >>> On Fri, Jan 13, 2017 at 9:33 AM, Jay Weigel <jay.weigel at gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>> >>>
>> >>> I was recently involved in a war of words on another site concerning
>> the
>> >>> use of the word "elderly". A number of us felt it was mildly
>> pejorative,
>> >>> not in the same class as the n-word, but somewhat in the class of 
>> >>> using
>> >>> "colored" instead of African-American or black.
>> >>>
>> >>> P.S. Our side carried the day.
>> >>>
>> >>> On Fri, Jan 13, 2017 at 8:24 AM, Marion Thompson <
>> >>> marionwhitevale at gmail.com>
>> >>> wrote:
>> >>>
>> >>>> Thanks for this, Jim.  Ain't it the truth?  I've just heard that
>> >> another
>> >>>> friend, now 90, is in a home, but that's good because she will have
>> >> lots
>> >>> of
>> >>>> company and stimulation!  The helpful neighbourhood fellow brought 
>> >>>> my
>> >>> paper
>> >>>> down to the house yesterday and said the company should bring it to 
>> >>>> my
>> >>> door
>> >>>> "You're an elderly woman."  Whaaaat?   Not how I see myself At
>> >>>> All!!!!!!!!!!  But it comes to us all, I guess, especially in the 
>> >>>> eyes
>> >> of
>> >>>> the world.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> Marion, a pilgrim   ... today my sail I lift ....
>> >>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>>> On 1/13/2017 12:14 AM, James Oppenheimer-Crawford wrote:
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> This is a nightmare of many as we age and become less and less able
>> to
>> >>>>> take
>> >>>>> care of ourselves. I pray that he gets a fine place to live out the
>> >> rest
>> >>>>> of
>> >>>>> his days with dignity.
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> James W. Oppenheimer-Crawford
>> >>>>> *“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not
>> >>> preserved,
>> >>>>> except in memory. LLAP**”  -- *Leonard Nimoy
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> On Thu, Jan 12, 2017 at 4:27 PM, Marion Thompson <
>> >>>>> marionwhitevale at gmail.com>
>> >>>>> wrote:
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> Thanks for your prayers, Lynn.  I went to see him yesterday.  He is
>> >> his
>> >>>>>> spunky self -- sort of, but clearly can't go home on his own and 
>> >>>>>> has
>> >>>>>> acknowledged that it's time to give up his little church.  He's on
>> an
>> >>> IV,
>> >>>>>> can't walk safely without people and supports, and looks pretty
>> rough
>> >>> --
>> >>>>>> toiletries haven't caught up with him!  I got him a good hot 
>> >>>>>> coffee,
>> >>>>>> which
>> >>>>>> he appreciated after the cold coffee on his meal trays.  I really
>> >> don't
>> >>>>>> know where he can go from hospital, certainly not home alone!  I
>> >>>>>> certainly
>> >>>>>> hope his sons will be part of the solution for their father!
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>> Marion, a pilgrim
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>> On 1/10/2017 10:36 PM, Lynn Ronkainen wrote:
>> >>>>>>
>> >>>>>> praying for Ted+ tonight, for those who will tend to his medical
>> >> needs
>> >>>>>>> and for friends who love him.
>> >>>>>>> Lynn
>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> website: www.ichthysdesigns.com
>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I
>> >> have
>> >>>>>>> not a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything
>> >> You
>> >>>>>>> gave
>> >>>>>>> me." attributed to Erma Bombeck
>> >>>>>>> "Either Freedom for all or stop talking about Freedom at all" 
>> >>>>>>> from
>> a
>> >>>>>>> talk
>> >>>>>>> by Richard Rohr
>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>> >>>>>>> From: "Marion Thompson" <marionwhitevale at gmail.com>
>> >>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, January 10, 2017 4:26 PM
>> >>>>>>> To: <magdalen at herberthouse.org>
>> >>>>>>> Subject: [Magdalen] Prayer Request for my old friend
>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>> I just heard from friends that my dear old friend Ted is in
>> >> hospital,
>> >>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>>> admitted by these friends who found him in his apartment.  He 
>> >>>>>>>> had
>> >>> been
>> >>>>>>>> on
>> >>>>>>>> the floor for a few days. He was confused, dehydrated, and in
>> pain.
>> >>>>>>>> Not
>> >>>>>>>> being family I can't get anything out of the hospital beyond 
>> >>>>>>>> that
>> >>> he's
>> >>>>>>>> not
>> >>>>>>>> on the hospital floor  my friends told me.
>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>>> He will turn 79 shortly and is still working as a priest 
>> >>>>>>>> although
>> >> he
>> >>>>>>>> has
>> >>>>>>>> been going downhill badly the last while and it is all he can do
>> to
>> >>>>>>>> turn up
>> >>>>>>>> at his little church which is housed in an old folks home.  How 
>> >>>>>>>> to
>> >>>>>>>> physically get him from here to out west where he wants/needs to
>> be
>> >>>>>>>> nearer
>> >>>>>>>> to a son with three small children and an older sister has been 
>> >>>>>>>> a
>> >>>>>>>> continuing conundrum.
>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>>> It's all distressing and I feel of no help at all, being at a
>> >>> distance
>> >>>>>>>> myself.  He has been a loyal friend to me.  For now all I can do
>> is
>> >>> beg
>> >>>>>>>> your prayers for this good man who has been his own worst enemy
>> but
>> >>>>>>>> deserves a better end than this.
>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>>> Marion, a pilgrim
>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>>>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>
>> >>
>>
>>